Happy New Year! A year of new beginnings for everyone!
It is simply astonishing how mother time literally ‘flies by’ from one day, to a week, to a month, to a new year.
In my opinion, a new year is a time to reflect on the past, and to welcome new beginnings.
Essentially, we all get to begin anew.
A Year of Reflection
As I reflect on 2022, it was a year filled with happiness, sorrow, success and loss.
Surgeries
I underwent three major surgeries and lived to tell the tale.
To be clear, I had a total hip replacement and got a new nose. But wait, that is only two surgeries.
Nose Job
As they say, why have one nose job when you can have two in one year. I opted for the latter choice and had a second nose job in one year.
Why? Why not? Like I have nothing better to do with my time or nose, than to have another surgery under general anesthesia. Omg! Why go on a vacation to Maui, if you can stay at home and have a second nose job surgery in a year.
Never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine I would have two nose jobs on my virginal 57 year old nose. Really. Like who would? Too bad my second surgery was not featured on the television show ‘Botched’.
I am pleased to say that at 58, the second nose job is the charm. I can finally, finally breathe and received the ‘shiksha goddess’ nose I always wished for.
And if you were wonderin’, a shiksha goddess’ nose is dainty, with a hint of royalty. A fantasy come true for this mama. This Gay is now a Queen.
I certainly never wish bad things on people, however, to the first Doctor who botched the first nose job: As my Grandma Sylvia would say, “…I hope you rot in hell”. And then she would spit on him. True, she would say that, and if the opportunity presented itself, would spit on him. My Grandma Ida would have put a curse on him. Ahh, the gold ‘ole days. Vengeance was simple.
Hip Replacement Surgery
As for my new hip, I love it! Replacement body parts are the new fad!
However, too bad my new hip is not bionic. If it were, I could finally ski expert moguls in the back bowls of Vail, CO.
Blessings of Family
In addition to the annuls of 2022, I am blessed to witness and share in the lives of my children, grandchildren, niece, and my ‘adopted’ children. The love, the laughter, the arguing. Again, the simple pleasures of life.
Loss of a Forever Friend
However, with all the good times, comes the sad times. There has to be the yin and yang.
I lost my BFF, my Sistah from anotha’ motha’, Faith.
Faith
Faith passed away in the early morning hours of December 31, 2021. I lost a piece of my heart that day. I believe when someone you dearly love passes, you lose a part of yourself.
We were the same age; grew up on Long Island; and raised our children in the same town on the East End of Long Island. We shared the same values; both fearless and had a deep love of life and family.
The only difference was that Faith was always so goddamn mellow and chill. Quite the opposite of yours truly; I am akin to a hurricane rolling into town.
And that my friends is the yin and yang that forever binds us together.
Each day of 2022 represented a new day without Faith. Similar to fresh tracks in snow.
So I write about her to keep her memory alive, to literally ‘keep the faith’.
To be clear, Faith would not want another tear shed on her behalf; she would request that her daughters, husband, family and ‘Team Faith’ continue to move forward and embrace life. As I shall.
My heart will heal, and I too shall begin anew.
Cheers
I ask all of you to raise your proverbial glass to life. L’chaim to 2023!
However, Sistahs you may want to hear about the morning I woke up with the puffiest under eye bags! Shiat! You know what I am talkin’ about!
Omg… I woke up this morning, which is always a good thing. Right?
Any hoo, marched straight to the bathroom… Hey now, don’t forget the simple pleasure of being able to get out of bed to take your mornin’ tinkle. My word, you are all so harsh!
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
And then I looked into the mirror. Oy! I was aghast at what I saw! I had no idea who was looking back at me in the mirror.
And that chick was not the fairest of them all.
To my chagrin, it was me I was lookin’ at. What happened? I just don’t know…
I went to bed as a 58 year old hot mama and woke up as a lukewarm mama. Oy vey! So tragic!
It was the morning of Halloween, and I was not wearing a costume. Repeat, no costume.
Can we talk? Who is wearing a costume at 4:00 in the morning? Well, then again, maybe some peeps, but not me!
On the other hand, it would have been great if it were a costume…and I could simply peel off the old crepey wrinkly skin and emerge as Ms. America! You betcha baby!
Alas, that was not the case.
Puffy Under Eye Bags
Like really, you may not care, but I had this puffy ‘thang’ happenin’ under my eyes – I suppose that is what is known as a ‘bag under your eyes’. And to add insult to injury, the bags were dark, and come in pairs. Of course these bags want to be loud and proud. As y’all know, aging is not subtle. It is akin to a bull in a china shop.
And to make matters worse, it wasn’t even a designer bag like Louis Vuitton.
Deflate Bag!
The under eye bags would not flatten.
Excuse me Sistahs – just so ya know, I desperately tried to flatten those suckers with my fingers to no avail. Those bags (of course they come in pairs) prominently sat under my eyes, like a fluffy pillow. The shame of it all.
However, that ain’t no fluffy pillow. More like some shiat that sprung outa nowhere under my eyes. So sad.
Old Lady Eyes
Sistahs, I ask y’all: is this the beginning of the end?
Will I wake up tomorrow and find wrinkles under my eyes? (shhh… I already have a few).
Beverly Hills Plastic Surgeon
I ask my Sistahs: Has the time come for me to see a plastic surgeon? There must be a Beverly Hills Hotline for help with under eye dark bags. If not Beverly Hills, where can a girl get any type of emotional support for aging?
Does anyone care about women over 50? Anyone? Anyone?
What Aging Delight is Next?
Will the skin on my arms become flabby, saggy? (Oh shiat, no not that!).
Will my neck start to look like a turkey gobbler? Ya know what I am talkin’ bout – when your neck can sway back and forth in the wind!
According to my ‘ole mama , she said “Gay, you shall not succumb to that fate, because you have your father’s neck”. By the by, Mama says that was ‘the only good thang I got from my father.’ Well, at least I got one good thing from my Daddy.
Halloween
Fortunately, it is Halloween, and I don’t need a costume.
The Hamptons summer is over. Another chapter scribbled into to the comic book of life and Dan’s Papers.
The official conclusion of a Hamptons summer is marked by the Tuesday after Labor Day, known as ‘Tumbleweed Tuesday’.
end of hamptons summer tumbleweeds
Do I have to explain everything? The rest of the stragglers, hanger ‘onners roll outa’ here as if they were tumbleweeds! Hence the phrase ‘Tumbleweed Tuesday’. Oy vey!
We local folk are like, thank you, and leave now! We had enough of the traffic, the attitude (‘tude’), crowds, yada yada yada.
And Just Like That…
And just like that, summer is over. So sad. Not really.
When the summer peeps roll out of the Hamptons, it is like loosing your bloat after a menstrual cycle.
Girlfriends, ya know what I am talkin’ ‘bout! It’s like hallelujah, I can finally fit in those pants again!
Now that summer peeps are ensconced in NYC, I can finally score a dinner reservation at the posh restaurant Bistro Ete and make a left hand turn onto Montauk Highway.
Thank you summer peeps for not being here!
Hamptons Summer Memories
As I reflect on my summer of 2022, here are just a few quintessential Hamptons moments I will share with y’all.
COVID, Hamptons Summer Style
Well, we all thought COVID was over, but I got COVID in June. Despite getting four vaccines, having a great immune system, still got it.
That she-devil COVID decided to hang out with me in the Hamptons for the better part of the summer. You know what I am talking about. I am cool with any guest staying a few days, but for several weeks with no end in sight? COVID knows no boundaries.
COVID is a horrible house guest. That girl is a user and a taker. She sapped all the energy from me… I was exhausted from hosting her. She just barged into my life, unannounced. What a Biatch! She used me to stay in the glamorous Hamptons for a summer experience. Her plan was to invade the Hamptons and party every night. Boy, that girl has big balls!
Not on my watch Sistah! I caught her right away, and never let her out of the house.
And I ask you…Why me? I did everything for her. Let her sleep as long as she needed; did not ask her to help around the house; and I fed her great meals. And you ask, what did she do for me? That biatch gave me post-COVID migraine headaches that promptly started every day, for several weeks at 5pm. NO cocktails for Gay. I was drowning my pain and agony in Excedrin for Migraine Headaches with Advil chasers.
That Biatch finally lost her hold on me…and she packed up and left. I was just shy of getting an exorcism.
Share the Hamptons Summer Roads
Nobody, no one shares the road during a Hamptons Summer. Cyclists, bicycle riders, runners, joggers, walkers and cars do not share the road. It is all about ‘me me me’, losing weight, and fittin’ into that speedo.
Who knew the Hamptons attracted so many weekend warriors who take to the streets! The sheer number of fitness enthusiasts are staggering! So many Hamptons peeps are passionate about breaking a sweat. Go figure…
There are the fitness peeps – the runners (not joggers) and the cyclists (not bike riders). The runners and cyclists are athletes – they are on a mission. They are determined to get their mileage logged in for the day. They are on the road early, so as to avoid getting hit by a car. Smart.
The bike riders, who I fondly call ‘idiots on bikes’, and the walkers, are herded together side by side as if they were in a parade. They pretend to be blissfully ignorant of the line-up of Range Rovers, Ferraris and Bentleys trailing behind them.
Just a battle of egos… these are the same peeps who did not share their toys in Kindergarten. I did not like them then, and I don’t like them now.
Bid Adieu
On Tumbleweed Tuesday, we bid a fond adieu to our neighbors. The Hamptons roads are less congested, which is such a relief. However, the skies are filled with helicopters akin to taxis, taking all the summer folks back to the city. And of course the flight pattern is over my house.
Excuse me? Drive back to NYC in all that traffic with the peasants?
U.S Supreme Court Decisions Based on Feelings, NOT the Law
America
Welcome to America. The gun totin’ capital of the world.
Last week’s news: the Highland Park, Illinois Fourth of July Parade Massacre. 7 innocent souls murdered, and 39 others injured. To be clear, the word ‘injury,’ should not be confused with a ‘bruised knee.’ One of the shooting victims, an 8 year old child, sustained life threatening injuries; the bullet that tore through his small body severed his spine. He is now paralyzed from the waist down.
A Fourth of July Celebration is typically celebrated with friends, family, parades, hot dogs, ice cream and fireworks. NOT Military grade weapons used to fire upon human beings in tee shirts and shorts on a warm summer day who are merely spectators sitting on lawn chairs waiving U.S. flags and children blowing bubbles along the parade route.
I am disgusted. And how do you feel?
More importantly, do you wonder how the Supreme Court Conservative Justices feel? Oh, wait a gosh darn minute! They ruled it is totally okay to walk around the United States of America with a gun. Any gun.
What contrived constitutional excuse will they come up with to justify another mass shooting?
The Founding Fathers who wrote the U.S. Constitution, are literally rolling over in their graves as to how the Justices have twisted the meaning of the Second Amendment’s ‘Right to Bear Arms.’
At this point, any law abiding citizen must wonder…Do the Justices even have feelings? Do they care about the catastrophic impact their rulings are having on today’s society? Oh yes they do!
Based on their recent rulings, the Justices feel:
1. A woman has no rights.
2. A woman has no rights, because these Justices took away the right for women to make personal decisions over HER own body.
3. The Justices feel human life is sacrosanct. Therefore, abortion is illegal.
4. The Justices feel that law abiding citizens can carry guns outside of the home, anywhere in the United States to protect themselves.
5. The Justices feel that human life of a gun owner is sacrosanct. Therefore, a law abiding citizen can carry a gun, and can use that gun to shoot and to kill another human being if that gun totin’ person feels threatened.
6. Do not quibble over the words ‘feel threatened;’ if a person feels threatened, that person can and will protect themselves. The Court essentially gave the green light to shoot to kill. Hey, I did not write that decision, the Conservative Justices handed that decision down last week.
I have a few questions for the Conservative Justices:
1. What is the definition of a Law Abiding Citizen as per the US Supreme Court today?
2. Who is afforded the rights of a Law Abiding Citizen? Any person?
3. Is a person who lawfully obtains a gun a Law Abiding Citizen?
4. Is a person who lawfully obtains a gun, and then intentionally shoots at other law abiding citizens watching a parade, a Law Abiding Citizen?
5. Is a fetus a Law Abiding Citizen?
6. Is a Woman a Law Abiding Citizen?
7. Is a Child a Law Abiding Citizen?
8. Is a ten year old girl who is raped considered by the Court to be a Law Abiding Citizen?
9. How does the Court define ‘Human Life’?
10. Are Justices, who went to Law School, not Medical School, qualified to determine when Human Life Begins?
11. What value do the Justices place on a Human Life?
12. Is the term ‘Human Life’ only applicable to a fetus?
13. Is the term ‘Human Life’ applicable to victims of gun violence?
14. Is the term ‘Human Life’ applicable to white, brown, purple human beings, women and girls?
15. Last week, a 10 year old rape victim was 6 weeks pregnant and was denied the right to an abortion. What value does the Court place on that victim’s human life?
16. The Justices are not Physicians, not Scientists. Nor are they Clergy, although the Conservative Justices on the Court seem to be preaching religion. They strive to espouse virtuous morals…yet is it moral to force a 10 year old child who is a rape victim to give birth to the evidence of the crime committed upon her?
17. Does the Court ascribe Rights to victims of gun violence?
18. Does the Court only ascribe Rights to Gun Owners?
19. Is the Right to Bear Arms greater than the rights of a victim of gun violence?
Hypothetical: What if a pregnant Woman who lives in Texas, a verified Law Abiding Citizen, walked into a Doctor’s office totin’ an AR 15, and demanded an abortion? She allegedly was protecting herself from the pregnancy, because she could die if she carried full term. Can this Woman assert her 2nd Amendment Right to Protect Her Own Body?
Reality: Why do gun owners have more control over their guns, than women have over their own bodies?
Last weekend, I shopped for groceries at the King Kullen Supermarket in Bridgehampton, NY.
If you did not know, Bridgehampton is located in the Hamptons. You know, the place where the beautiful, rich and famous peeps frolic.
Well, I go grocery shopping every single goddamn day. Sadly, I do not have a Chef, a Butler, a Personal Assistant, a Personal Trainer, etc. . I know Ms. Manners. Can you imagine? And I live in the Hamptons in the summer. Totally embarrassing.
My shopping experience was different this time. I came upon a major spillage in Aisle 10.
It was a total ‘hit and run.’ A real crime scene. ‘Someone’ knocked over several Louisiana Red Hot Sauce Bottles. If y’all don’t know, this is one of the ingredients used to make spicy hot chicken wings.
And this really looked like a crime scene. The employees had the aisle roped off with yellow tape, the kind that the Police use. And this was a problem for me, I needed to go down that aisle. I had to get the Grey Poupon Mustard, which was stocked next to the Hot Sauce.
When I arrived at the crime scene, there was not one, not two, not three, not even four broken bottles on the floor… For the untrained eye, it was hard to tell how many bottles were broken. The floor was ‘a sea’ in Red Hot Sauce; broken and unbroken bottles were literally floating in the aisle. This was a job well done!
Ms. Manners, I know you are wonderin,’ whether the person who crashed into the Red Hot Sauce bottles, which were neatly displayed on a shelf, reported this incident to a grocery store employee?”
I know, such a funny question to ponder.
Oh my oh my Ms. Manners! Girlfriend, this here is the Hamptons. Paleeze!
Hell no! Clearly the perpetrator (“perp”) of this incident scurried away…
Perhaps we should give the perp the benefit of the doubt? Maybe, just maybe, the perp did not know they ‘bumped into the Red Hot Sauce Bottles’ that were so neatly organized on a shelf by a grocery store employee? I just don’t know.
Personally, I try to believe in the ‘goodness of people,’ perhaps, just perhaps, the person did not hear the bottles (note ‘plural’ bottles), crash to the ground.
Ms. Manners, I use the word ‘crashed,’ because there was more than one bottle, and these were large bottles. Not the small table size bottles you would use at a restaurant. Again, you ask yourself “Didn’t the perp hear the bottles crash?
Well, Ms. Manners, all I can say, is that if the perp were profoundly deaf, daft, or did not have their hearing aids in, maybe, just maybe they did not hear the crash of all those bottles. Not to mention the splatter of the sauce, which was everywhere.
But really, we all know the perp who knocked all those bottles down, knew what they did. The perp probably checked the aisle to see if there were any witnesses, and then fled the scene of the crime. Like no one would see this mess? Really? Like the store has no video cameras?
Oh, but then things took a turn for the worse. Then there was the smell. Ms. Manners, Louisiana Red Hot Sauce is hot. The label says, ‘Red Hot Sauce’ for a reason. This hot sauce ain’t for the faint at heart.
Have you ever used Louisiana Red Hot Sauce Ms. Manners? Well, I love it. ‘Specially on my chicken wings.’ Oooooh that smell!
Ms. Manners, I could smell that sauce when I was about mile away near Aisle 1. That smell was permeating the store. Even though it was 9:30am, I started to have a hankerin’ for some wings!
A Laughing Matter
In truth, employees and customers were laughing. Customers were taking photos; with the hope these pictures would go ‘viral.’ Nah, I don’t think so.
I could see the store employees were in absolutely no rush to clean this mess up. Who in their right mind would be? If you get Red Hot Sauce in an open wound on your fingers or hands, you will cry for your mama! And do not rub your fingers that are covered in hot sauce into your eyes, it can damn near burn them out of your head!
As for me, I told the employees we should all follow the trail of red footprints throughout the store, created by the person who had knocked over the bottles of Louisiana Red Hot Sauce. Just look for the perp whose shoes and legs were decorated with red splatter stains and would smell like a chicken wing.
Oh, and if you were wonderin,’ I prefer wings in extra hot sauce.
You betcha baby! I am a loud and proud NEGATIVE COVID Person! Hallelujah!
As I read my acceptance speech for being the recipient of this Negative COVID Test, I have several peeps to thank.
First, a few acknowledgements to the manufacturers of the COVID Vaccines and the Paxlovid AntiViral COVID Meds, the At Home COVID Rapid Test Kits, Mucinex DM, AYR Nasal Spray, Puffs Plus Tissues with Aloe, Charmin Ultra Soft Toilet Paper, Clorox Wipes, and last butt not least, Huggies Baby Tushy Wipes.
Second, I would to thank my Doctors. Not all of my Docs (I have way too many and would take too long to list), but specifically Gary the Doc who prescribed the Paxlovid, and my Wellness Doc Caroline who told me I ‘would be fine.’
Third, Thanks to my husband Michael for running away from me as soon as I tested positive for COVID. Really, you never saw the guy run so fast. Also, smart to sleep in separate bedrooms during my COVID experience (Lucky for you, because I did not wake you up every time I pee). Lastly, brilliant idea to wear a mask in the house this past week; saved all my super-expensive anti-aging potions and lotions. Michael was brilliant to keep me not ‘arm’s length,’ but rather a ‘football field’ apart, because he did not get COVID. And, he was so considerate of me, because I can’t even imagine what he would have been like if he got COVID. You know men, they are so ‘needy.’ Yuck!
My sons were absolutely terrific. They both recently had COVID, and thus were extremely empathetic when they saw me in my COVID ‘Horror State’ of pale white. Not to mention everyone listen to my coughing/hacking/choking attacks. Grateful my older son can cook, and my younger son was in LA, so I could isolate in his bedroom for a week.
To be clear, even though I experienced a ‘mild’ case of COVID, I still am not at my version of 100% total Gay Capacity . This virus knocked me on my arse for a week. Even total hip replacement surgery did not render me bed ridden.
The good news, is that I am a loud and proud negative person (despite having a positive attitude). I also can go mask-less for the next two months. And no, this is not akin to going bra-less. That would be horrifying! I mean really, thank you Victoria Secret push-up double your size bra!
Oy! Please, enough already! Today is Day 7, and to be honest, I have had enough of COVID. Sadly, it has not had enough of me. Not an equitable relationship.
The problem with getting COVID, is that it’s just not your common cold.
As we all know by now, COVID affects each person differently. Some people who test positive for COVID are ‘asymptomatic’ and experience no symptoms. However, they are still a walking petri dish and still must isolate. Then there are the spectrum of folks who experience mild symptoms (like me), moderate symptoms and just fall apart for a week or two, and those who experience severe symptoms, who need to be hospitalized and just may succumb to the virus. Scary, right?
Since COVID is a highly contagious virus, and, if a person cares about another human being, well, you want to do the right thing and isolate. Yes, you do the right thing and stay away from other people (even if you hate them).
Isolating at Home
I suppose I am lucky. My kids are out of the house, and it is just me and my husband. Akin to two people stranded on an island. In this case, Long Island. So dreamy, right? Nah, I don’t think so.
Despite having 100 COVID shots between us (just joking), since the minute I tested positive for COVID, I am now sleeping in my younger son’s bedroom. The room is a time capsule, intact from last year, when he graduated from College.
My husband is still testing negative, which is great for him. To keep him negative, I wear a KN95 mask in the house, and Lysol spray is my new perfume. I know, sexy, right?
When it is not raining and there are no gale force winds, we can dine together, outside. What a real treat.
Now, for some people who can’t stand their spouses, COVID is a great excuse to stay away. Right? A self-imposed separation. For some odd reason, I actually like the guy I married. Call me crazy, or maybe it is the COVID brain? But, it has been hard to be separated.
Our anniversary is tomorrow. First off, amazing we made it to 27 years of marriage! Woo Hoo! Second, we shall celebrate just ‘the two of us.’ Our plans were cancelled, because I am still testing positive for COVID. For heavens sake…no one has hugged me in a week!
Perks of Day 7 of COVID
So exciting! Made it to day 7 of COVID! So many doors have opened to me as per the CDC. Since I am finishing my Paxlovid, have experienced mild symptoms, never had a fever, and I can now go out in Public. But, there is always that but… I am required to wear a mask at all times.
To make sure I do not infect my fellow human beings (even the ones I can’t stand), I wear two KN95 masks.
Remaining Symptoms
COVID has left me tired, and I have a raspy, hoarse voice. Once the symptoms of COVID rooted, I had an extremely upset stomach, which contributed to the weight loss I experienced. (You can fill in the gory details.)
I am always the optimistic: my bikini will look awesome this summer, or whatever that means for a 58 year old hot mama!
This is now Day 5 of COVID. I am exhausted. I literally can’t move. It is hard to believe this is a ‘mild’ case of COVID.
Even though I am not a Board Certified Physician, I am a certifiable Jewess Mama Doc. I believe the Paxlovid antiviral drug I am taking stopped COVID in its tracks. Yes, the symptoms stopped getting worse.
I would opine there is an internal struggle going on at this very moment in my ole’ body to defeat COVID. Thus, I am totally wiped out. This never happens to me.
What is totally odd, is that my mind is clear. I can think. I am not experiencing COVID ‘brain fog.’ In fact, my neck has been killing me for months, and that pain has greatly diminished. So weird.
Sleepin’ and Dreamin’
Hallelujah, I slept last night. 11 hours, which is so not normal for me. As you know my Dear Diary, as a Menopausal Mama, I am lucky if I sleep 6 hours a night due to my punctual pee-pee wake-ups every 2 hours.
Diary, I did have an odd dream. The last dream I remember, was that I was sitting in a Denny’s restaurant that was also a bagel shoppe; and I ordered eggs and an English Muffin for breakfast. So odd, right? I skipped the poppy-seed bagel, hash-browns and bacon because I wanted to ‘watch my weight’ and keep my cholesterol low.
Diary, what a relief that I am concerned about my health in my dreams! But really, this is what I dream about?
Oy vey! After 2.5 years of evading COVID, it got me.
Crime Scene
How did I get COVID? Who gave it to me? Who can I blame? Do I call the Police to track down a suspect?
I have not knowingly been near anyone who has COVID. Unless …someone has been lurking the streets with COVID. Hmmmm.
COVID was an uninvited guest who entered my life without permission. Yesterday morning, was like any morning. I noticed my throat was a tad bit scratchy. I do have allergies, so I popped a Zyrtec (allergy pill). Then I noticed my nose ‘felt funny’ (no better way to describe), and since COVID is literally everywhere, I took a COVID test for the hell of it.
COVID Tests
I just love a COVID test. Don’t y’all? Just the thought of shoving a long Q-tip up not one, but both of my nostrils, is so incredibly sexy. Then waiting for the results… this is akin to a pregnancy test. I mean the dipstick test. But you still wonder if you are positive or negative.
I have previously taken rapid COVID tests, PCR tests, and each and every one came up negative.
But not yesterday. Oh no, no, no. My luck ran out, and COVID tagged me. My COVID stick had two red lines, and no, I was not pregnant.
I just don’t get it. I am armed with 4 COVID shots, take a ton of supplements to boost my immune system, eat healthy and wear a mask inside all stores. Oh, and I also take hydroxychloroquine twice daily for an autoimmune illness. No, not to prevent COVID, to prevent swelling in my fingers. And… my positive COVID test proves hydroxychloroquine does not prevent COVID.
Despite taking all the above precautions, I still got COVID. Maybe if my arsenal included an AR-15, then COVID would have stayed away? Nah, I don’t think so.
COVID Friends
Well, my friend Michele had COVID and tested positive for 21 days. She got COVID from her granddaughter. So cute, right? The kid shared her COVID with the entire family a month ago. Today is the day Michele finally tested negative. Her husband never got COVID. She even slept in another bedroom to not infect him. Wow, what a mama. I have spoken to her so often the last few days, maybe COVID is transmittable via text and phone? I just don’t know.
My friends Andy and Mike recently got COVID. They are getting better. But I did not get it from them. They got COVID from a birthday party. What a fun party!
So where did I get COVID from? Who knows? Such a pity. I wanted to blame someone.
COVID Health Status
Today is day two of my COVID experience. I now have a cold and I am a bit tired. Although, I did workout this morning, picked 5 pounds of strawberries, and baked bread. I have to prove I am Wonder Woman, and COVID will not stop me.
Leper in the House
Stay away from Gay! No one wants to touch me. So sad.
Good thing it is almost summer. I sit outside, cough and gag away from everyone in my family. In the house, I wear a KN95 mask, and sleep in my son’s bedroom. He is a practicing adult, and lives in California, so I can use his bedroom.
My drugs of choice are Advil, Mucinex and AYR nasal spray. I am holding off on taking the Paxlovid, the COVID antiviral drug, because I don’t know if I need it just yet. Only time shall tell!
What is fascinating, is that I do not have brain fog, and can author this article. I have brain fog every day, except today. Go figure.
COVID Response from Friends and Family
It is just fascinating. When you tell people you have COVID, the response is very sullen. No, I have not heard the line “sending you prayers,” but the “Oh NO! You got COVID”! response. And “Where did you get it from?.” “Are you ok?”
I am taking each day as it comes. Glad I have four COVID shots, and hope I have a mild case of COVID. One never knows with this virus.
Save a Woman’s Right to Abortion and Reproductive Health Care Now!
TIME TO ABORT THE TEXAS HEARTBEAT ACT
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury; you are tasked with the responsibility to determine whether the Texas Heartbeat Act SB 8 is unconstitutional and therefore must be struck down.
The Texas Heartbeat Act SB 8 was argued before the United States Supreme Court on November 1, 2021. The Supreme Court Justices focused solely on the legal procedural issues of this case and did not address the factual issues that address the long standing Constitutional Right to Abortion as set forth in the landmark decision Roe v. Wade.
Thus, the scope of your deliberation is limited to determine whether Texas deprived citizens their Constitutional Right to an Abortion by drafting a law that precludes Federal and State judicial review of the constitutionality of the statute.
The effect is stunning: Texas SB 8 silences a woman’s Constitutional Right to Abortion and prevents her from having her rightful ‘day in court’.
In addition, as you will learn, this so-called ‘law’ deputizes people to become Abortion Bounty Hunters to literally accuse anyone of assisting a woman carry-out her Constitutional Right to Abortion. Which ironically, the Court did not address.
FYI, ignoring issues does not make them go away. But the Justices know that.
Realistically ladies and gentlemen, the Supreme Court appears to be on its way to extinguishing the Constitutional Right to Abortion and Reproductive Health Care for Women that was established in Roe v Wade. Thus, the monumental task of upholding Supreme Court precedent case law rests on your shoulders.
As you hear the facts of this case, I am certain you will conclude that Texas SB 8 in its entirety is unconstitutional and must be struck down. The Supreme Court is having a difficult time garnering a majority vote on this matter, so maybe you can ‘help’ them see the proverbial light and uphold their own precedent. Accomplish what the Supreme Court ought to do NOW.
What is next for women? What other rights can and will be silenced?
Thank you.
The Facts of the Case
Elected officials of the great state of Texas enacted the law SB 8 to prevent women from obtaining an abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy.
There are no ‘exceptions’ to this law. It does not matter if the pregnancy resulted from:
Rape.
Sexual Assault.
Sexual Abuse.
Incest.
SB 8 is a ban on abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy.
However, the ban on abortion was not the question before the United States Supreme Court. Surprising…right?
No, not really.
Wait a minute. You ask yourself… “Why didn’t the Supreme Court determine whether SB 8 violates the constitutionally protected right to abortion?” The answer is simple. Well, not so simple.
The Court knew they would hear oral arguments on December 1, 2021, notably the Mississippi case Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. The Dobbs case will determine whether the Court will uphold Roe v. Wade.
Until the Court renders that decision, the 50 year-old constitutionally protected right to abortion will continue to precariously dangle by a thread.
The Issue of the Case
The Supreme Court deemed the only justiciable issue before them was whether anyone can sue to stop the enforcement of Texas SB 8. Indeed, a curious question to a non-attorney. Nevertheless, a deeply concerning legal procedural question.
SB 8 Evades Judicial Review
Ladies and gentlemen, I am confident you are confused. Yes, you are correct in thinking that the purpose of this law is to ban abortion. However, that is not why the law was written and enacted. The purpose of Texas SB 8 was insidious at the outset: it was written to specifically evade any judicial review.
What does judicial review mean? Exactly what it says. Courts are empowered to review the lawfulness of a Federal or State statute. In this case, the drafters of SB 8 intentionally wrote this legislation to be beyond reproach; essentially bulletproof to any judicial review.
Shocking? No.
Sneaky? Yes.
SB 8, not only enforced a ban on abortion, but legislated that no person, no entity, can sue the State of Texas to argue the lawfulness of this law.
This is the perplexing part of SB 8. Generally, when a person alleges they suffer an injury from a Federal or State statute, that person will sue the entity (the Federal, State or Local Government) that enacted said legislation. The relief sought would be to invalidate the law considered to be unconstitutional or invalid; to stopenforcement of the law.
However, Texas claims SB 8 is not enforced by any State official. Thus, opponents of this law who seek to stop enforcement of it have a real problem determining the correct named party/defendant to sue.
For the pregnant woman from Texas who is prevented from getting an abortion due to SB 8, who does she sue? What party does she name, to argue that the law is denying her constitutional right to an abortion? The answer is… I do not know. And neither did the Supreme Court Justices when they heard oral arguments in this matter.
The unmitigated gall of these so-called Texas ‘legislators,’ who allegedly represent the interests of their constituents. They drafted and enacted a law that prevents the very people who elected them from legally challenging this abortion ban.
Texas Asserts They Do Not Enforce SB 8
Wait a minute…just what did the drafters of SB 8 do? According to SB 8, Texas Governmental Officials do not enforce SB 8. Funny, that is what the State of Texas asserts.
Ask yourself: Well, if the State does not enforce this law, then who enforces SB 8 in Texas?
The Enforcers
Pursuant to the law, this legislation deputizes anyone who is not a State Official to enforce SB 8.
Ladies and gentlemen, kindly pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Do you really think the State of Texas is not enforcing SB 8?
Please, follow along with me. Banning all abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy is cruel and unusual punishment to women. And as bad as that is, the insidious component of this law is the deputizing of private citizens to be knighted ‘Abortion Bounty Hunters,’ to hunt down and accuse any person who participated in the procurement of an abortion.
The Abortion Bounty Hunters
Incredulous as this sounds, it is worse than you can imagine. To reiterate, the State of Texas has turned plain ‘ole folk into Abortion Bounty Hunters, to prey on anyone who seeks to get an abortion. Oh, and the bounty is up to $10,000. A rather profitable endeavor to be an Abortion Bounty Hunter.
Keep in mind y’all, Texas says they do not enforce this law.
It does not matter that the deputized citizen/bounty hunter, who becomes a plaintiff in a future civil suit to claim the reward, was not directly injured by the person they are suing. Which is odd, because in the real world of civil litigation, a plaintiff must allege he/she sustained some injury caused by the defendant.
Then again, this is Texas. Clearly, they just make up their own rules.
Seriously ladies and gentlemen. SB 8 appoints private citizens to become bounty hunters to sniff out abortion in Texas. It is clear these bounty hunters are acting as an arm of the State of Texas, and this ‘bounty hunter’ will become eventual plaintiffs against their prey to recover the cash reward, the bounty, for enforcing the law.
According to Justice Clarence Thomas, ‘SB 8 plaintiffs are acting in concert with Texas to enforce this law.’ To clarify ladies and gentlemen, this means that the great state of Texas is enforcing this law.
Sorry Texas, your government is enforcing this law. But y’all already know that. Shame on Texas. They can’t hide behind their bounty hunters and proclaim they do not enforce the law.
Aiders and Abettors of Abortion
The following are just a few of the people who can be sued for ‘aiding and abetting’ the procurement of an abortion and be liable for payment of the cash reward:
The husband/partner who drove a woman to an abortion clinic/private physician.
The cab/uber driver who drove a woman to an abortion clinic/private physician
The nurse who assisted in the abortion.
The Doctor who performed the abortion.
The woman who received the abortion.
A shocking list of ‘so-called’ aiders and abettors. These people are your sister, mother, brother, father, uncle, grandma, grandpa, doctor; get the picture?
Right Leaning Justices
Apparently, some Supreme Court Justices were more concerned about a State appointing Bounty Hunters to enforce their laws, as opposed to banning abortion after six weeks of pregnancy.
The Supreme Court is supposed to be ‘apolitical.’ However, this Court is clearly aligned along partisan lines, which is a no-no. The Justices who were appointed by Republican Presidents, do publicly espouse conservative political views. Yes, these ‘right leaning Justices,’ who now comprise the Majority rule of this Court, are not ‘fans’ of Roe, and have expressed a willingness to dilute that Landmark Decision.
Once again, that is no excuse to not address this Texas ban on abortion.
Women Have Constitutional Rights
Clearly, the majority of the Justices are aligned with Texas in this matter. Did these Justices forget that the very Court they sit on has ruled that a Pregnant Woman has Constitutional Rights, but the unborn fetus does not?
A fetus at 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 15 weeks, and 23 weeks is not recognized by this Court to have any Constitutional Rights.Roe v Wade determined the viability of a fetus at 24 weeks; the RIGHTS OF THE PREGNANT WOMAN MUST BE BALANCED WITH STATE RIGHTS.
Oh, don’t you love selective memory.
However, are you really surprised? I am not. Let’s be serious. Texas clearly does not care about the health, safety and welfare of a woman. Because if they actually did care about a woman, they would not have enacted SB 8.
And why should the Justices address the abortion component of SB 8 now? No matter that all abortions in Texas have come to a screeching halt due to this law. No matter that women are suffering. No balancing of a pregnant woman’s rights with that of the State. This is just another news cycle, hoped to be forgotten.
The pain and suffering experienced by thousands of Pregnant Texas Women who are unlawfully denied their right to an abortion will not be forgotten. As of this writing, 62% of Americans polled support Roe. The Court cannot turn a deaf ear on the ‘pulse’ of the Majority of Americans.
The Justices are working on their own timetable: they heard the Mississippi case on December 1 and will continue to erode at the Court’s rule of law by not upholding precedent.
Great message from the Court: Screw you Texas Women.
Legalization of Bounty Hunters
Justice Kavanaugh, in his infinite wisdom, pondered what would happen if the court upheld SB 8 and thus permitted the State to use bounty hunters to limit other Constitutional Rights.
I ask you: At this moment in time and history, what is more important than a woman’s Constitutional Right to Abortion and to Reproductive Care?
Well, Justice Kavanaugh was more concerned about the potential restriction of the Second Amendment. Really? Bless his heart.
Guns? What do they have to do with Abortion Rights?
Oh, and yet, this case gets better. The Firearms Policy Coalition, submitted an amicus brief and was very concerned that ‘Blue States’ (i.e. California, New York) will act just like Texas and create unlawful procedures and penalties to enforce a law that is blatantly unconstitutional. Mind you, they were not talking about the Texas ban on abortion being unconstitutional.
My word! Heavens to Betsy! This coalition was sickened at the mere thought of liberal states banning the sale and ownership of handguns and appoint bounty hunters to hunt down gun-totin’ people. Can you imagine?
Of course, Kavanaugh agreed with this amicus brief and envisioned the ownership or sale of a handgun would be illegal in States like New York and California, if the court upheld SB 8. Oh, my word! Don’t you love the ‘tit-for-tat’ game?
Children of the Court, oh, I mean Justices, stay focused on the Abortion component of SB 8, not the procedural smoke screen.
Reap What You Sow
You betcha Kavanaugh! Your worst nightmare came true! Bravo to Governor Gavin Newsome of California. Newsome just proposed a gun law that would be modeled on the Texas one. Sucks when you have to take your own medicine.
Bottom Line
In simple English, SB 8 is a nasty law. It completely ignores established Constitutional Law, exempts itself from any Judicial Review, and deputizes citizens to become Abortion Bounty Hunters to enforce a law that in fact violates Constitutional Rights. Not to mention it silences women’s rights.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, consider this thought: If women are stripped of their Constitutional Right to Abortion and Reproductive Rights, what is the next right women will lose? The right to vote? What about rights that are not protected by the Constitution? What if a State wants to enact a law that prevents women from attending college or driving an automobile?
I betcha did not think women could be stripped of those rights. If it happens in other countries where women’s rights are restricted, why not here?
If SB 8 is constitutional, a State is empowered to enact any law that is not subject to judicial review. Frightening to say the least. What is to become of the good ‘ole U.S. of A.?
The Supreme Court, as a result of its inaction to declare SB 8 unconstitutional, has caused this matter to spiral out-of-control. The Conservative Justices, by their own doing, are making this Court impotent.
The Constitution is a living document. The ‘Founding Fathers,’ the Men (no women) who wore the wigs, were actually forward thinking human beings. They purposefully drafted the Constitution to grow with our nation, not against it. They founded this country to not be ruled by the absolute power of one ruler; they wanted to spread power among different ‘branches’ of government for ‘checks and balances;’ and they wanted to separate Church and State.
The Supreme Court is a separate and distinct arm of government. It should unequivocally not be political. In modern times, it should rise above all the bullshit that occurs in Washington and this Country.
