Oh No! Botched Nose Job!

self-portrait January 2022

My word… it is true. I had a nose job a year ago, and it was ‘botched.’

I cannot believe this happened to me. As you all know, I have been sharing
my stories for almost two years now. However, this is one story I have been
reticent to disclose.

In fact, since I learned I would need to undergo a total septoplasty
revision surgery, I have not been able to write any articles. It has been that
upsetting for me.

Before the First Surgery

I realized I could not breathe properly through my nose for quite some time.
This posed a fairly significant problem for me, as it would for any person. About
a year ago, I was advised by a physician that elective septoplasty surgery
would enable me to breathe properly through my nose.

Yes, it was that important for me to achieve unencumbered, optimal oxygen
intake through my nose. Seriously.

To this day, I yearn to breathe properly through my nose.

To be clear, this was not a cosmetic surgical procedure. The surgeon
informed me the shape of my nose would not be altered; it would remain the

However, the surgeon told me that after the surgery, ‘I would have a regal
nose’. Upon reflection, and when I look at my reflection in the mirror, I have
no idea what that statement meant. And what I wound up with, certainly is not

And if you were wondering, the surgeon was highly recommended by another doctor.

My Botched Surgery

I will not share the ‘nitty-gritty’ details of the first surgery. Although, the
post-operative pain was excruciating.

Moreover, after the surgery, I never breathed properly through my
re-constructed nose.

Despite repeated calls and office visits to the surgeon, I was told
‘everything was fine’.

I even told the surgeon that ‘I thought there was something inside my nose
that was obstructing my breathing’. The surgeon continued to assure me that ‘everything
was fine’.

The Truth Revealed

Two months ago, I was examined and subsequently treated by a different
physician, who not only diagnosed me as suffering from a chronic staph
infection in my nose, but also observed something that was ‘growing out of the
surgical sutures’ in my nose. This physician confirmed something was
obstructing my breathing.

Clearly, everything was not fine.

Revision Surgery

In three weeks I will undergo revision surgery and am hopeful my breathing
will be restored. In addition, corrective cosmetic surgery will ‘clean up’ the
shape of my nose, which was negatively affected from the first surgery.

My goal is to chronicle my experience through my blog. I am absolutely,
unequivocally dreading this surgery. The first surgery was simply too painful
and traumatic. The thought of undergoing this procedure is overwhelming.

However, I want to share my botched surgery experience for other people to
learn from.

It is my hope that by chronicling this second surgery, I will find some


The COVID Grim Reaper

Oy vey! After 2.5 years of evading COVID, it got me.

Crime Scene

How did I get COVID? Who gave it to me? Who can I blame? Do I call the Police to track down a suspect?

I have not knowingly been near anyone who has COVID. Unless …someone has been lurking the streets with COVID. Hmmmm.

COVID was an uninvited guest who entered my life without permission. Yesterday morning, was like any morning. I noticed my throat was a tad bit scratchy. I do have allergies, so I popped a Zyrtec (allergy pill). Then I noticed my nose ‘felt funny’ (no better way to describe), and since COVID is literally everywhere, I took a COVID test for the hell of it.


I just love a COVID test. Don’t y’all? Just the thought of shoving a long Q-tip up not one, but both of my nostrils, is so incredibly sexy. Then waiting for the results… this is akin to a pregnancy test. I mean the dipstick test. But you still wonder if you are positive or negative.

I have previously taken rapid COVID tests, PCR tests, and each and every one came up negative.

But not yesterday. Oh no, no, no. My luck ran out, and COVID tagged me. My COVID stick had two red lines, and no, I was not pregnant.

I just don’t get it. I am armed with 4 COVID shots, take a ton of supplements to boost my immune system, eat healthy and wear a mask inside all stores. Oh, and I also take hydroxychloroquine twice daily for an autoimmune illness. No, not to prevent COVID, to prevent swelling in my fingers. And… my positive COVID test proves hydroxychloroquine does not prevent COVID.

Despite taking all the above precautions, I still got COVID. Maybe if my arsenal included an AR-15, then COVID would have stayed away? Nah, I don’t think so.

COVID Friends

Well, my friend Michele had COVID and tested positive for 21 days. She got COVID from her granddaughter. So cute, right? The kid shared her COVID with the entire family a month ago. Today is the day Michele finally tested negative. Her husband never got COVID. She even slept in another bedroom to not infect him. Wow, what a mama. I have spoken to her so often the last few days, maybe COVID is transmittable via text and phone? I just don’t know.

My friends Andy and Mike recently got COVID. They are getting better. But I did not get it from them. They got COVID from a birthday party. What a fun party!

So where did I get COVID from? Who knows? Such a pity. I wanted to blame someone.

COVID Health Status

Today is day two of my COVID experience. I now have a cold and I am a bit tired. Although, I did workout this morning, picked 5 pounds of strawberries, and baked bread. I have to prove I am Wonder Woman, and COVID will not stop me.

Leper in the House

Stay away from Gay! No one wants to touch me. So sad.

Good thing it is almost summer. I sit outside, cough and gag away from everyone in my family. In the house, I wear a KN95 mask, and sleep in my son’s bedroom. He is a practicing adult, and lives in California, so I can use his bedroom.

My drugs of choice are Advil, Mucinex and AYR nasal spray. I am holding off on taking the Paxlovid, the COVID antiviral drug, because I don’t know if I need it just yet. Only time shall tell!

What is fascinating, is that I do not have brain fog, and can author this article. I have brain fog every day, except today. Go figure.

COVID Response from Friends and Family

It is just fascinating. When you tell people you have COVID, the response is very sullen. No, I have not heard the line “sending you prayers,” but the “Oh NO! You got COVID”! response. And “Where did you get it from?.” “Are you ok?”

I am taking each day as it comes. Glad I have four COVID shots, and hope I have a mild case of COVID. One never knows with this virus.

To be continued…



Mask Up! (Braces Optional!)

It’s happenin’ again! Shiat!

Time to wear the mask baby! Whether you like it or not, COVID is here to stay. Think of this as shiat on a shoe. Even if you think you removed it from your shoe, it’s still there. That smell. You just can’t get rid of it.

This is analogous to COVID. Get it?

COVID is NOT goin’ away. At least not until more people get vaccinated.

I for one, never had COVID. I have no idea why I did not catch this virus, or, shall I say, COVID never caught me. However, I march on!

Dr. Fauci’s COVID Prevention Tips

I have done everything my spiritual leader Dr. Fauci requested

  1. Wear a mask indoors at public places.
  2. I got vaccinated.
  3. I wash my hands all day long.
  4. I take a shower at least once a day (for good measure).

Dr. Fauci’s COVID Prevention List is based on Science. However, in addition to Fauci’s list, we Hot Mamas need to follow a COVID Prevention List that is an outgrowth of everyday life.

I don’t know about y’all, but I have created my own COVID Prevention Tips List which is based on Gay’s Common Sense.

Gay’s COVID Prevention Tips not Mentioned by Dr. Fauci:

1. Get SCOPE/Breath Freshener Spray for your breath! When you wear a mask, FYI, your breath stinks!

2. Wear a mask in bed: for relationships that are falling apart due to the pandemic, masking is a great excuse, I mean priceless opportunity to ‘stay safe’.

3. For Vaccinated families: Too much togetherness! INfighting has returned! Don’t we know it honey! That Delta Variant is yet another great excuse for postponing family gatherings.

4. If you are shopping at TJ Maxx and you see another hot mama checkin’ out a designer label dress in your size, feign a coughing attack! Watch everyone run away from you! Go in for the kill and grab the dress!

5. Remember, coughing is the new fart!

Stay tuned…tomorrow is another day!