Working 9–5 is a Drag!

The Virtual Office

Like omg! I was watching the news the other day. No, this was not ‘the news,’ like CNN, MSNBC or that ‘other’ station that rhymes with ‘lox.’

This news segment was about people, specifically ‘Twenty-Somethings’ who were returning to work in a Post-COVID World.

Indeed, everyone has to go back to work in a ‘Real’ office. No, you can’t continue to work out of your ‘home virtual office,’ which is in your bedroom. To clarify, the ‘real office’ is located in an office building where grown-ups go to work 5 days a week. Real life. The pre-COVID era. Ah, the good ole’ days.

Apparently, not everyone is happy about returning to the real office. So sad.

Well. Excuse me. Sad is not the appropriate word that expresses the ‘twenty-somethings’ that were interviewed on this show. These women emphatically did not, not, want to go back to work in the ‘real’ office.

I mean really. After listening to their compelling stories, like duh, who could blame these educated, professional women for wanting to work ‘virtually’ from home.

The first woman who was interviewed, quit her job as a paralegal because in the post-pandemic real world, she was required to go back to work in the real office. My word! You go girl!

She stated ‘…when you go from full remote to office, it was like, why am I doing this? It seems like pointless? I was so much more tired, I would come home exhausted, and you know, I wouldn’t want to go to the gym, and wouldn’t want to read a book, like I wouldn’t really want to make dinner. 5 days a week in office, 9–5, which is just unreasonable.’

I hear ya sistah! Oy, too much stress, and being tired is just a total no-no. Clearly, working from 9–5 as a paralegal at the real office, located in the office building prior to the pandemic must have been a heavy burden.

Can you imagine, going to work every day, day in, day out? Tsk, tsk, too much to bear for a twenty-something.

Fortunately, this is a woman of the 21st century who knows how to take care of herself.

The good news is that she found another virtual paralegal job. Yes, she gets to continue to work at home! I am thrilled for her! It is wonderful that she will not be subjected to the demands of working in a real office. Best of all, she will now have the strength to go to the gym, read a book, and cook a meal. Although why cook a meal, when Postmates can deliver dinner in half the time it takes to cook. This of course frees up more time, so you can go out with your friends for cocktails. Which you can do since you will not be tired anymore. Just another perk working from home.

Another person who was interviewed, a 25 year old woman, echoed similar sentiments. She stated, ‘we are more productive at home, we are happier at home, we’re doing what the company asks of us…and going back in is really a form of micromanaging, We don’t want any part of it.’

Wait a gosh darn minute! I have a few questions with regard to this second woman who was interviewed. She used the word ‘home’ several times and said she was ‘happy.’ Was she living at home with mommy and daddy during the pandemic? Was she more productive at home because mommy gave her three meals a day and did her laundry? Is home better to work at because you can sneak in a work-out when you are working virtually? Or binge on a Netflix show? Just wonderin.’

One more thing…this twenty-something essentially said she doesn’t want to be micromanaged at work. Is that right? Stop the presses for a moment and get me off this merry-go-round.

As an adult, in the real world, everyone’s life is micromanaged by someone. I know, there was no college course on this subject. Sad.

Such grievances! These twenty-somethings remind me of my kids when they were teenagers and would yell at me “you are not the boss of me.” Not to be the bearer of bad news, but in a professional work environment, someone is the boss of you. Sad reality check.

Clearly, these twenty-somethings set forth compelling arguments to continue to work virtually from home. Right? Oy vey. Tell it to the Judge Judy.

I mean really…what kind of people are we to require educated professionals to work at oppressive office jobs, which make you so tired at the end of a day, that you can’t even go to the gym. The nerve of employers!

Can you imagine being a twenty-something college graduate and subjected to working at a real job, in a real office, from 9–5? Like what was the point of going to college anyway? Again, college did not prepare students for real life.

When these women were interviewed for this show, their parents must have been so proud of them!

I have kids who are in their twenties. If my kids told me this tale of woe, I would have laughed at them and rubbed two fingers together to show that I was playing the smallest violin in the world, playing the saddest, saddest songs.

I don’t know about y’all, but back in the day, I worked as an attorney. I had to get up very early in the morning, wear a suit, uncomfortable high heels, and get to the office or courthouse.

Oh, and by the by, my ‘work hours’ were not 9 am to 5 pm… that would be like going to Day Camp. My hours were leave the house by 6 am and get home late at night. And then, work some more at home. Everyone micromanaged me and was up my arse. And I never got a ‘thank you.’

Just wait till you have kids of your own… that 9–5 job will be remembered as a vacation!

To be continued…

MASK UP!

COVID RE-BOOT!

Mask Up! (Braces Optional!)

It’s happenin’ again! Shiat!

Time to wear the mask baby! Whether you like it or not, COVID is here to stay. Think of this as shiat on a shoe. Even if you think you removed it from your shoe, it’s still there. That smell. You just can’t get rid of it.

This is analogous to COVID. Get it?

COVID is NOT goin’ away. At least not until more people get vaccinated.

I for one, never had COVID. I have no idea why I did not catch this virus, or, shall I say, COVID never caught me. However, I march on!

Dr. Fauci’s COVID Prevention Tips

I have done everything my spiritual leader Dr. Fauci requested

  1. Wear a mask indoors at public places.
  2. I got vaccinated.
  3. I wash my hands all day long.
  4. I take a shower at least once a day (for good measure).

Dr. Fauci’s COVID Prevention List is based on Science. However, in addition to Fauci’s list, we Hot Mamas need to follow a COVID Prevention List that is an outgrowth of everyday life.

I don’t know about y’all, but I have created my own COVID Prevention Tips List which is based on Gay’s Common Sense.

Gay’s COVID Prevention Tips not Mentioned by Dr. Fauci:

1. Get SCOPE/Breath Freshener Spray for your breath! When you wear a mask, FYI, your breath stinks!

2. Wear a mask in bed: for relationships that are falling apart due to the pandemic, masking is a great excuse, I mean priceless opportunity to ‘stay safe’.

3. For Vaccinated families: Too much togetherness! INfighting has returned! Don’t we know it honey! That Delta Variant is yet another great excuse for postponing family gatherings.

4. If you are shopping at TJ Maxx and you see another hot mama checkin’ out a designer label dress in your size, feign a coughing attack! Watch everyone run away from you! Go in for the kill and grab the dress!

5. Remember, coughing is the new fart!

Stay tuned…tomorrow is another day!