Smelly Feet? Schweatty Balls? A Maui Vacation!

Paradise in Maui!

Smelly Feet? Schweatty Balls?

Maui is a natural oasis. Beautiful flowers. Spectacular waterfalls. Breathtaking sunsets.

Total Zen.

Our arrival to Maui was flawless. Airplane was right on time. Rental car was brand new. Drive to Hotel was fast. Arrived several hours early to hotel check-in, and the room was ready. Incredible.

Oh, and that room! High floor, sweeping ocean views, more square footage than a NYC apartment!

Late lunch was delicious. Pool side was heaven.

What more could a girl ask for? Oy. As the mamas say at the Mahjong table, don’t ask.

The Smell!

Somethin’ was rotten in Maui… at least in the master bedroom of this magnificent condo.

I noticed a ‘smell’ wafting from the master bedroom. Definitely not Chanel No. 5.

At first, we could not place that smell. Oh, and by the by, yes, I have a terrible stomach. However, I can assure you I was not the culprit of that odor!

Smelly Feet?

In truth, we just unpacked from a long flight, and at first sniff, the odor had a hint of ‘smelly feet.’ I literally was smelling ‘gently worn’ socks. Not long snorts, just a quick sniff.

You know it sistahs, just what you want to do upon your arrival in Maui.

Well, no one had smelly feet or socks or shoes. What a relief. Right?

I poo-pooed the smell (no pun intended). Thought we just needed to open the sliding glass doors to let in fresh air.

Several hours transpired, and a reasonable person would have believed the master bedroom was successfully ‘aired out.’

Cold Shower

Well…oh my gawd girlfriends. Don’t get me started! Then again, y’all know me.

I am not one to complain, but it would have been nice to have a hot shower. Not too much to ask for. Like, hello, this mama does not prefer, but wants, a hot shower.

Do you kinda get the feelin’ this hotel condo was all downhill from this point?

After I took my cold shower, I went into the bedroom to dress for dinner. And I was overwhelmed with a sickening odor. Damn! What was that smell?!

Clearly, airing out the room did not work.

Odor Patrol

I simply could not define that odor! What was it? Really smelled like sweaty feet; but was not. Oh, I know! Schweatty balls! That’s it! The room smelled like a locker room! Ah ha!

And so began the calls to the Front Desk, Housekeeping, and…the Hotel Manager.

The Front Desk

And the call went like this: ‘Hello, I have two issues. First, no hot water in my shower.’ The front desk person, politely apologized, and said ‘there is a problem with the hot water heaters. All of them.’

Well then, okey dokey. The solution: Grin and bear it. But really, she gave a little ‘chuckle,’ said ‘they were being fixed, and hoped to be repaired by the next day.’

Then I said, ‘My second issue is that my bedroom smells like smelly feet and schweatty balls; it really does.’

And the reply? Silence at first. Sistahs, think for a moment…how does a hotel employee respond to this select choice of words that I used to characterize this problem?

Surely, the front desk person thought I was out-of-my-mind.

Pardon Moi. Girlfriends, am I asking too much? A mama is entitled to a hot shower, and a room free from eau de parfum schweatty balls.

Oy vey. Clearly, that conversation was goin’ nowhere. I requested to speak to the Hotel Manager.

Hold your hats, we be goin’ for a ride!

The Hotel Manager

Poor guy. He never had a chance. I had him at ‘hello.’

Ask yourself: Was he blindsided by my call? Probably.

Did this Manager believe my accusation that the room smelled like schweatty balls? I don’t know. Although, he did laugh and remember the SNL skit! He said he would examine the matter. Not the balls, the odor.

Face to Face Meeting

As a skilled attorney, I prefer to discuss topics such as schweatty balls face to face. Once again, no pun intended.

I schlepped my skinny arse to the front desk, and asked to speak to my new friend, Manager Number 1. Oh, there will be another Manager that got pulled into this drama.

The housekeeping inspection confirmed the room smelled. What a relief! See… I told the truth!

But where was the smell coming from? The carpet? The armoire? The bed? The Manager winced at the bed option, which I agree is kinda gross.

Now it is Manager Number One’s turn to tell the truth. Or at least to start revealing some truthful details. Apparently, the condo sustained ‘some water damage’ from the Epic Storm that slammed Maui a few days prior to our arrival. The wall-to-wall carpeting in the Master Bedroom ‘got a little wet.’

The Remedy

The Manager deemed it best to clean the rug to get rid of the schweatty balls odor. Ok, maybe that will work. I am ‘up’ for that.

Masking the Problem

The rug was cleaned with a ‘cleaner/deodorizer/schweatty balls remover’ when we were at dinner.

Talk about making a bad situation worse.

The moldy carpeting was now doused with chemicals. And again, not smellin’ like a bouquet of roses. I wanted to go to bed with not a COVID mask, but with a gas mask.

Room Change

Here we go. Manager Number One is not working the next day. Meet Manager Number Two. He had a great idea…change your room.

Sistahs, this hot mama is on a very high floor. The only room available is on the third floor.

The nerve! I shan’t stay on a low floor.

Finally The Truth!

Once again, I schlepped to the front desk to talk to Manager Number Two.

Poor guy. My sharp cross-examination skills had him confess to the real issue. When the epic storm hit Maui, the room we were assigned at check-in, was not secured for the storm. At that time, the room was vacant, and the sliding glass doors were not locked. The master bedroom was soaked from the storm.

Last Ditch Effort

Other than ripping out the carpet, Manager Two worked with Hotel Engineers to dry out the rug and eradicate the odor.

Huzzah!

Mission accomplished! Finally, I can breathe. Not perfect, but no mo’ schweatty balls and smelly feet!

The Concierge

Bless the Concierge. They keep leaving me messages. They want to welcome me back to the hotel and to stop by their desk to pick up their complimentary beach bag.

TIME TO ABORT THE TEXAS HEARTBEAT ACT

Save a Woman’s Right to Abortion and Reproductive Health Care Now!

TIME TO ABORT THE TEXAS HEARTBEAT ACT

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury; you are tasked with the responsibility to determine whether the Texas Heartbeat Act SB 8 is unconstitutional and therefore must be struck down.

The Texas Heartbeat Act SB 8 was argued before the United States Supreme Court on November 1, 2021. The Supreme Court Justices focused solely on the legal procedural issues of this case and did not address the factual issues that address the long standing Constitutional Right to Abortion as set forth in the landmark decision Roe v. Wade.

Thus, the scope of your deliberation is limited to determine whether Texas deprived citizens their Constitutional Right to an Abortion by drafting a law that precludes Federal and State judicial review of the constitutionality of the statute.

The effect is stunning: Texas SB 8 silences a woman’s Constitutional Right to Abortion and prevents her from having her rightful ‘day in court’.

In addition, as you will learn, this so-called ‘law’ deputizes people to become Abortion Bounty Hunters to literally accuse anyone of assisting a woman carry-out her Constitutional Right to Abortion. Which ironically, the Court did not address.

FYI, ignoring issues does not make them go away. But the Justices know that.

Realistically ladies and gentlemen, the Supreme Court appears to be on its way to extinguishing the Constitutional Right to Abortion and Reproductive Health Care for Women that was established in Roe v Wade. Thus, the monumental task of upholding Supreme Court precedent case law rests on your shoulders.

As you hear the facts of this case, I am certain you will conclude that Texas SB 8 in its entirety is unconstitutional and must be struck down. The Supreme Court is having a difficult time garnering a majority vote on this matter, so maybe you can ‘help’ them see the proverbial light and uphold their own precedent. Accomplish what the Supreme Court ought to do NOW.

What is next for women? What other rights can and will be silenced?

Thank you.

The Facts of the Case

Elected officials of the great state of Texas enacted the law SB 8 to prevent women from obtaining an abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy.

There are no ‘exceptions’ to this law. It does not matter if the pregnancy resulted from:

  1. Rape.
  2. Sexual Assault.
  3. Sexual Abuse.
  4. Incest.

SB 8 is a ban on abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy.

However, the ban on abortion was not the question before the United States Supreme Court. Surprising…right?

No, not really.

Wait a minute. You ask yourself… “Why didn’t the Supreme Court determine whether SB 8 violates the constitutionally protected right to abortion?” The answer is simple. Well, not so simple.

The Court knew they would hear oral arguments on December 1, 2021, notably the Mississippi case Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. The Dobbs case will determine whether the Court will uphold Roe v. Wade.

Until the Court renders that decision, the 50 year-old constitutionally protected right to abortion will continue to precariously dangle by a thread.

The Issue of the Case

The Supreme Court deemed the only justiciable issue before them was whether anyone can sue to stop the enforcement of Texas SB 8. Indeed, a curious question to a non-attorney. Nevertheless, a deeply concerning legal procedural question.

SB 8 Evades Judicial Review

Ladies and gentlemen, I am confident you are confused. Yes, you are correct in thinking that the purpose of this law is to ban abortion. However, that is not why the law was written and enacted. The purpose of Texas SB 8 was insidious at the outset: it was written to specifically evade any judicial review.

What does judicial review mean? Exactly what it says. Courts are empowered to review the lawfulness of a Federal or State statute. In this case, the drafters of SB 8 intentionally wrote this legislation to be beyond reproach; essentially bulletproof to any judicial review.

Shocking? No.

Sneaky? Yes.

SB 8, not only enforced a ban on abortion, but legislated that no person, no entity, can sue  the State of Texas to argue the lawfulness of this law.

This is the perplexing part of SB 8. Generally, when a person alleges they suffer an injury from a Federal or State statute, that person will sue the entity (the Federal, State or Local Government) that enacted said legislation. The relief sought would be to invalidate the law considered to be unconstitutional or invalid; to stop enforcement of the law.

However, Texas claims SB 8 is not enforced by any State official. Thus, opponents of this law who seek to stop enforcement of it have a real problem determining the correct named party/defendant to sue.

For the pregnant woman from Texas who is prevented from getting an abortion due to SB 8, who does she sue? What party does she name, to argue that the law is denying her constitutional right to an abortion? The answer is… I do not know. And neither did the Supreme Court Justices when they heard oral arguments in this matter.

The unmitigated gall of these so-called Texas ‘legislators,’ who allegedly represent the interests of their constituents. They drafted and enacted a law that prevents the very people who elected them from legally challenging this abortion ban.

Texas Asserts They Do Not Enforce SB 8

Wait a minute…just what did the drafters of SB 8 do? According to SB 8, Texas Governmental Officials do not enforce SB 8. Funny, that is what the State of Texas asserts.

Ask yourself:  Well, if the State does not enforce this law, then who enforces SB 8 in Texas?

The Enforcers

Pursuant to the law, this legislation deputizes anyone who is not a State Official to enforce SB 8.

Ladies and gentlemen, kindly pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Do you really think the State of Texas is not enforcing SB 8?

Please, follow along with me. Banning all abortions after the sixth week of pregnancy is cruel and unusual punishment to women. And as bad as that is, the insidious component of this law is the deputizing of private citizens to be knighted ‘Abortion Bounty Hunters,’ to hunt down and accuse any person who participated in the procurement of an abortion.

The Abortion Bounty Hunters

Incredulous as this sounds, it is worse than you can imagine. To reiterate, the State of Texas has turned plain ‘ole folk into Abortion Bounty Hunters, to prey on anyone who seeks to get an abortion. Oh, and the bounty is up to $10,000. A rather profitable endeavor to be an Abortion Bounty Hunter.

Keep in mind y’all, Texas says they do not enforce this law.

It does not matter that the deputized citizen/bounty hunter, who becomes a plaintiff in a future civil suit to claim the reward, was not directly injured by the person they are suing. Which is odd, because in the real world of civil litigation, a plaintiff must allege he/she sustained some injury caused by the defendant.

Then again, this is Texas. Clearly, they just make up their own rules.

Seriously ladies and gentlemen. SB 8 appoints private citizens to become bounty hunters to sniff out abortion in Texas. It is clear these bounty hunters are acting as an arm of the State of Texas, and this ‘bounty hunter’ will become eventual plaintiffs against their prey to recover the cash reward, the bounty, for enforcing the law.

According to Justice Clarence Thomas, ‘SB 8 plaintiffs are acting in concert with Texas to enforce this law.’ To clarify ladies and gentlemen, this means that the great state of Texas is enforcing this law.

Sorry Texas, your government is enforcing this law. But y’all already know that. Shame on Texas. They can’t hide behind their bounty hunters and proclaim they do not enforce the law.

Aiders and Abettors of Abortion

The following are just a few of the people who can be sued for ‘aiding and abetting’ the procurement of an abortion and be liable for payment of the cash reward:

  1. The husband/partner who drove a woman to an abortion clinic/private physician.
  2. The cab/uber driver who drove a woman to an abortion clinic/private physician
  3. The nurse who assisted in the abortion.
  4. The Doctor who performed the abortion.
  5. The woman who received the abortion.

A shocking list of ‘so-called’ aiders and abettors. These people are your sister, mother, brother, father, uncle, grandma, grandpa, doctor; get the picture?

Right Leaning Justices

Apparently, some Supreme Court Justices were more concerned about a State appointing Bounty Hunters to enforce their laws, as opposed to banning abortion after six weeks of pregnancy.

The Supreme Court is supposed to be ‘apolitical.’ However, this Court is clearly aligned along partisan lines, which is a no-no. The Justices who were appointed by Republican Presidents, do publicly espouse conservative political views. Yes, these ‘right leaning Justices,’ who now comprise the Majority rule of this Court, are not ‘fans’ of Roe, and have expressed a willingness to dilute that Landmark Decision.

Once again, that is no excuse to not address this Texas ban on abortion.

Women Have Constitutional Rights

Clearly, the majority of the Justices are aligned with Texas in this matter. Did these Justices forget that the very Court they sit on has ruled that a Pregnant Woman has Constitutional Rights, but the unborn fetus does not?

A fetus at 6 weeks, 12 weeks, 15 weeks, and 23 weeks is not recognized by this Court to have any Constitutional Rights. Roe v Wade determined the viability of a fetus at 24 weeks; the RIGHTS OF THE PREGNANT WOMAN MUST BE BALANCED WITH STATE RIGHTS.

Oh, don’t you love selective memory.

However, are you really surprised? I am not. Let’s be serious. Texas clearly does not care about the health, safety and welfare of a woman. Because if they actually did care about a woman, they would not have enacted SB 8.

And why should the Justices address the abortion component of SB 8 now? No matter that all abortions in Texas have come to a screeching halt due to this law. No matter that women are suffering. No balancing of a pregnant woman’s rights with that of the State. This is just another news cycle, hoped to be forgotten.

The pain and suffering experienced by thousands of Pregnant Texas Women who are unlawfully denied their right to an abortion will not be forgotten. As of this writing, 62% of Americans polled support Roe. The Court cannot turn a deaf ear on the ‘pulse’ of the Majority of Americans.

The Justices are working on their own timetable: they heard the Mississippi case on December 1 and will continue to erode at the Court’s rule of law by not upholding precedent.

Great message from the Court: Screw you Texas Women.

Legalization of Bounty Hunters

Justice Kavanaugh, in his infinite wisdom, pondered what would happen if the court upheld SB 8 and thus permitted the State to use bounty hunters to limit other Constitutional Rights.

I ask you: At this moment in time and history, what is more important than a woman’s Constitutional Right to Abortion and to Reproductive Care?

Well, Justice Kavanaugh was more concerned about the potential restriction of the Second Amendment. Really? Bless his heart.

Guns? What do they have to do with Abortion Rights?

Oh, and yet, this case gets better. The Firearms Policy Coalition, submitted an amicus brief and was very concerned that ‘Blue States’ (i.e. California, New York) will act just like Texas and create unlawful procedures and penalties to enforce a law that is blatantly unconstitutional. Mind you, they were not talking about the Texas ban on abortion being unconstitutional.

My word! Heavens to Betsy! This coalition was sickened at the mere thought of liberal states banning the sale and ownership of handguns and appoint bounty hunters to hunt down gun-totin’ people. Can you imagine?

Of course, Kavanaugh agreed with this amicus brief and envisioned the ownership or sale of a handgun would be illegal in States like New York and California, if the court upheld SB 8. Oh, my word! Don’t you love the ‘tit-for-tat’ game?

Children of the Court, oh, I mean Justices, stay focused on the Abortion component of SB 8, not the procedural smoke screen.

Reap What You Sow

You betcha Kavanaugh! Your worst nightmare came true! Bravo to Governor Gavin Newsome of California. Newsome just proposed a gun law that would be modeled on the Texas one. Sucks when you have to take your own medicine.

Bottom Line

In simple English, SB 8 is a nasty law. It completely ignores established Constitutional Law, exempts itself from any Judicial Review, and deputizes citizens to become Abortion Bounty Hunters to enforce a law that in fact violates Constitutional Rights. Not to mention it silences women’s rights.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, consider this thought: If women are stripped of their Constitutional Right to Abortion and Reproductive Rights, what is the next right women will lose? The right to vote? What about rights that are not protected by the Constitution? What if a State wants to enact a law that prevents women from attending college or driving an automobile?

I betcha did not think women could be stripped of those rights. If it happens in other countries where women’s rights are restricted, why not here?

If SB 8 is constitutional, a State is empowered to enact any law that is not subject to judicial review. Frightening to say the least. What is to become of the good ‘ole U.S. of A.?

The Supreme Court, as a result of its inaction to declare SB 8 unconstitutional, has caused this matter to spiral out-of-control. The Conservative Justices, by their own doing, are making this Court impotent.

The Constitution is a living document. The ‘Founding Fathers,’ the Men (no women) who wore the wigs, were actually forward thinking human beings. They purposefully drafted the Constitution to grow with our nation, not against it. They founded this country to not be ruled by the absolute power of one ruler; they wanted to spread power among different ‘branches’ of government for ‘checks and balances;’ and they wanted to separate Church and State.

The Supreme Court is a separate and distinct arm of government. It should unequivocally not be political. In modern times, it should rise above all the bullshit that occurs in Washington and this Country.

Thank you. I rest my case.

Roe v Wade: GOD BLESS AMERICA

The Landmark Supreme Court Decision

A Woman’s Constitutional Right to Choose: Roe v Wade

In truth, I realized that most people do not know and/or understand the legal meaning of Roe v. Wade. Oh yes, we all know that on a macro-level, it affords a woman the Constitutional Right to choose to have an abortion. However, that is a very broad understanding of Roe.

An attorney would define Roe as The landmark 1973 U.S. Supreme Court Case that afforded constitutional protections for women to choose to have an abortion prior to the viability of a fetus.

Why did I decide to write about Roe v Wade? To define legal terms as ‘viability of a fetus,’ explain how the Constitutional Right to Privacy affords a pregnant woman the right to choose, and the timetable the Supreme Court set forth to delineate when a woman can lawfully obtain an abortion, if she chooses, in this country.

Fragility of Roe v Wade

On September 1, 2021, the State of Texas enacted SB 8, The Texas Heartbeat Act, which bans abortion after the sixth week of pregnancy, with no exceptions.

The State of Texas unequivocally limited women’s rights upon the enactment of SB 8, which is in direct contravention of established Constitutional law, Roe v Wade.

To all the non-lawyers out there: The Constitution and Supreme Court Decisions  take precedent over conflicting federal and state laws.

Stop the Presses! I thought the United States Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade ruled that a woman has a right to choose to obtain an abortion prior to the viability of a fetus.

I am confident that you all, just like me, do not understand how Texas can blatantly disregard the landmark decision of Roe v. Wade and ban abortion in their state.

However, before we talk in depth about the ‘Constitutionality’ of SB 8 (which will be addressed in another article), we all need to understand Roe v. Wade and how that case legalized abortion in the United States.

Facts of Roe v Wade

Does anyone know the underlying facts of  Roe v Wade? I am confident that most Americans do not. Roe was first litigated in 1971… 50 years ago. Jane Roe lived in Texas, was a single, pregnant woman who brought a class action lawsuit to challenge the Texas criminal abortion laws. Texas in 1971 made it a crime to obtain an abortion, with the sole exception that an abortion could save the mother’s life.

Jane Roe wanted to terminate her pregnancy for the following personal reasons:

  1. ‘She was unmarried and pregnant.
  2. She wanted to terminate her pregnancy via abortion by a licensed, experienced physician in Texas.
  3. She was precluded from obtaining a legal abortion in Texas, because her life ‘did not appear to be threatened by the continuation of her pregnancy.’
  4. She could not afford to travel to another state to obtain a legal abortion.
  5. She asserted in her lawsuit the Texas abortion statutes were vague and violated her Constitutional Right to Privacy.’

The Right to Abortion is NOT Absolute

Jane Roe argued before the US Supreme Court, “a woman’s right to an abortion is absolute and that she is entitled to terminate her pregnancy at whatever time, in whatever way, and for whatever reason she alone chooses.”

What most Americans do not realize, is that the Supreme Court did not agree with Jane Roe’s argument that a woman’s right to abortion is absolute; and disagreed with the notion that a woman is entitled to terminate her pregnancy at any time.

Justice Blackmun’s Supreme Court Majority Opinion

The Honorable Justice Blackmun wrote the Majority Opinion for Roe. The majority opinion is the legal decision rendered by a majority (more than half) of the Supreme Court Justices and explains the reasoning behind the court’s decision on a legal and factual basis.

In the Majority Opinion, Justice Blackmun was cognizant of the differing opinions towards abortion in 1973 and in my opinion, addressed the issue of abortion with great sensitivity and compassion towards all Americans.

The issue of abortion was a ‘hot button topic’ in 1973 and seems even more divisive in 2021. Justice Blackmun’s Majority Opinion articulated a comprehensive review of the history of abortion from ancient Greece and Roman times to present day in the United States.

I believe, the most important part of Justice Blackmun’s majority opinion, was how the Court determined the 14th Amendment of the Constitution, the ‘Right to Privacy’, afforded a pregnant woman the right to choose to have an abortion. However, the court determined this is not an absolute right to abortion. Here is the BUT: The State can regulate abortion vis-à-vis showing a Compelling Interest to protect the health of the mother and fetus; then there is the AND: the abortion must occur prior to the viability of the fetus.

Easy to understand that Roe gives a woman the ‘right to choose to have an abortion,’ but yet it comes with caveats, that we will discuss.

The Issue Decided by the Supreme Court

For all you non-lawyers: Every legal matter that is litigated in court, always has a question, an issue to be decided by the Court.

The issue before the Court in Roe: Whether the U.S. Constitution protects a pregnant woman’s personal liberty to choose to have an abortion without excessive State regulation.

The Supreme Court Decision

The Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade did not confer upon women an absolute right to choose to have an abortion. The Supreme Court REGULATED  a woman’s right to abortion to effectively balance a woman’s privacy rights with that of the State’s interests.

In Roe, the Supreme Court ruled that a woman has the qualified right to terminate her own pregnancy. Please note the italicized words qualified and absolute. These words are critical to understanding the ruling in this case.

The Court determined the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, which affords the Right to Privacy against State action, also grants a woman’s qualified right to terminate her pregnancy.

In plain English, the Constitution gave Jane Roe personal liberty protections to fight the Texas ban on abortion; and the Supreme Court granted her a qualified right to get an abortion.

However, in constitutional matters such as the Right to Privacy, the Court will look to balance the State’s interests against that of a Woman’s control over her pregnancy. Yes, balance means reviewing the facts; assessing factors that would determine ‘fairness’ to all parties.

A Woman’s Qualified Right to Get an Abortion

The Court considered whether the following factors would unduly harm a woman who is prohibited by State law from ending her pregnancy:

  1. ‘Medical Harm to the woman.
  2. Psychological Harm.
  3. The social stigma of being an unwed mother.
  4. The eventual birth of an unwanted child may bring psychological harm on the family.
  5. The financial, economic stress.’

In this regard, the Court would ask a woman who sought to obtain an abortion, whether  the State’s ban on abortion is detrimental and causes irreparable, undue harm to the health and well-being of a woman who is forced to continue an unwanted pregnancy?

The State’s Compelling State Interests to Regulate Abortion

Did you wonder why a State aggressively opposes abortion? In Roe, the State of Texas alleged they have an interest to protect the health of the mother and the fetus.

The Court in Roe determined that a woman has certain fundamental constitutionally protect rights, and when she seeks to obtain an abortion, the State may limit these rights by asserting a compelling state interest.

Remember: The Supreme Court REGULATED  a woman’s right to abortion to effectively balance a woman’s privacy rights with that of the State’s interests.

Compelling State Interest Factors

According to Roe, at some point during the term of a pregnancy, the State interests become dominant for the following reasons:

  1. To protect the Health of both the woman and the fetus.
  2. To uphold Medical Standards.
  3. To Safeguard Prenatal Life.

In addition, the State argued in Roe that the woman’s Right to Privacy is NOT ABSOLUTE throughout the entire pregnancy.

The Supreme Court: The Qualified Right to Terminate a Pregnancy

What does a qualified right to terminate a pregnancy mean? Exactly what it says. No American citizen can just ‘go and get an abortion.’ The Supreme in this case, set up ‘guard rails’ to define:

  1. The Viability of a Fetus. and
  2. Provide a Timeline for the Regulation of Abortion via ‘Trimesters.’

The Viability of a Fetus

The viability of a fetus is a long debated topic. The court concluded, based on historical, religious, and medical facts, that viability occurs when the fetus can survive outside of the mother’s womb at 24 weeks of gestation.

The Court: The Rights of a Pregnant Woman Must Be Balanced with State Rights

As previously discussed, the Court sought to balance the Fourteenth Amendment’s Right to Privacy and State Interests. This was accomplished by the Court identifying three trimesters of pregnancy; each comprised of twelve weeks.

  1. First Trimester: ‘Approximately’ prior to the end of the first trimester, A state cannot regulate abortion. Exception: A state can require the medical procedure be performed by a licensed physician in a medical clinic, office, hospital.
  2. Second Trimester: A state may regulate abortion to promote its interest in the maternal health.
  3. Third Trimester: A state may ban abortion. ‘Considered to be the stage before fetal viability, the State has a compelling interest in protecting the potential human life; however, may proscribe abortion for the preservation of the life or health of the mother.’

The Majority Opinion of Roe v. Wade

As I previously mentioned, Justice Blackmun, who wrote the Majority Opinion, cited the common law. The common law is based on the history of social customs, traditions, and judicial review, and not on statutory law.

To quote Justice Blackmun:

“It is thus apparent that the common law, at the time of the adoption of our Constitution, and throughout the major portion of the 19th century, abortion was viewed with less disfavor than under most American statutes currently in effect. Phrasing it another way, a woman enjoyed a substantially broader right to terminate a pregnancy than she does in most States today. At least with respect to the early stage of pregnancy, and very possibly without such a limitation, the opportunity to make this choice was present in this county well into the 19th century. Even later, the law continued for some time to treat less punitively an abortion procured in early pregnancy.”

The above quote is in my opinion, profound. Why did American women have a ‘broader right to abortion’ in the 19th century, than today? It is even more incredulous to comprehend, how in 2021, some States are relentless in their efforts to ban abortion.

 Consequence of Overturning Roe v Wade

The effect of overturning the decision in Roe, means that Texas SB 8 would ‘stand’. The Abortion prohibition in Texas would create a domino effect for every State that wants to ban Abortion.

True. Overturning Roe would greenlight a State’s prerogative to enact legislation that would Ban abortion.

Once again, I ask you all to consider the undue hardship and detrimental effect this would have on all women who reside in neighboring states that prohibit abortion. Women would have to travel hundreds of miles (perhaps thousands of miles) to obtain a legal abortion. Women would have to leave their families to travel via plane, bus, car, or train; women would be required to take days off from work and find childcare for other children in the family in their effort to obtain an out-of-state abortion. The financial costs incurred would be an insurmountable obstacle for many women.

Oh, and by the way… a woman’s choice to have an abortion is not a decision that is made with the ‘flick of a switch.’ There is an emotional component that cannot be quantified. A decision to have an abortion is an individualized process, a thought process subjective to each pregnant woman. Obstacles literally thrown in the way of this process not only unduly harm a woman but can result in permanent emotional and physical harm to a woman for the rest of her life.

Keep in mind that Texas is not the only State in the good ‘ole U.S of A. that wants to deny women their Constitutional Right to choose to have an abortion. Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi and Ohio all want to enact similar heartbeat legislation.

It is clear these States march in solidarity with Texas to disregard established Constitutional protections of the Fourteenth Amendment Right of Privacy granted to all women.

Now. I ask you all to think for just one moment…Roe was first litigated in a Texas courtroom in 1971. It was ultimately argued before the US Supreme Court in 1973. Today is 2021.

Why do we continue to move backward as a nation, and not forward? Why do some folks want to impose more restrictions on choices that affect our own bodies? Keep in mind, that a pregnant woman who chooses to get an abortion does not impact society as a whole. The impact is on her body, her life and her family. Her choice does not affect my life or your life.

Stay tuned… the next article will address the Constitutionality of Texas SB 8.

An Evening Summer Hamptons Beach Walk!

Hamptons Beach

The Hamptons. As the sun sets to a perfect summer day, there is nothing better than taking a walk at the beach along the shoreline.

In truth, I believe the Hamptons beaches are truly magical. Indeed. Perhaps that is why people flock to the Hamptons like ants at a picnic. Sure! Peeps who flee the summer sweltering heat of NYC, the smell of roastin’ garbage, and boilin’ asphalt, crave the natural habitat of the hamptons.

Yes ma’m. The Hamptons are explodin’ with NYC peeps who want to be ‘one with nature’. They love to stop and smell the roses that are a bloomin’; watch the annual return of the monarch butterflies; observe the Ospreys who are nurting their babies in their nests on the dedicated nesting poles that hover above the Hamptons; or simply tend to their vegetable gardens that thrive in the naturally nutrient rich soil.

Really? Do ya think all the city peeps come for the nature? Hell No!

They come to party! But… we are talkin’ about beaches. Save city folk stories for another day!

The Evening Beach Walk

I raised my kids in the Hamptons. In the summer, we love to walk along the beach at night. When very few people are there. It is quiet. In fact, peaceful.

Celebrity Alert!

A few nights ago, after dinner, I took that beach walk with my hubby, my neighbor Linda and her dog, Bella (a 12 pound ‘Pomsky’). And yes, my dog Latte, aka ‘The Queen’, a small, white Havanese. Dogs are allowed on the beach after 5pm.

As I live and breathe, we came upon a local Celeb. You betcha baby! Of course, my hubby and Linda were totally oblivious. What NOT a surprise!

I recognize this person like ‘a mile away’ — our kids went to school together in the Hamptons. I know, totally cool! Right?

Let’s set the scene:

As we get closer, our two entourages meet. You know my non-famous nobody group. Who has she got along for the walk? OMG, like her pseudo-famous daughter and her fiancé, and their cute little dog.

Greetings!

If you know me, and you should by now, I swoop in for the ‘hello’!

You betcha! I stop walkin’. No, I do not jump in front of the celeb, so she stops walkin’. Don’t be silly. I am not that desperate!

I said ‘hi’. Then I say, ‘I know, you don’t remember me, but our kids went to school together’. And by the by, my older son said, “Mom, you do this every time you see her”.

But really, she never remembers me. Her response, ever so polite, is, “Oh yes! Hi!”. Wouldn’t that be nice, if it weren’t BULLSHIAT! Whatever. And by the by, her kids are great.

Anyways, I ask her how her kids are doing, blah, blah, blah, she asks about mine, blah, blah, blah, and we parted ways.

Natural Beauty

To be clear, my nobody entourage are all walkin’ in tee shirts and shorts. No make-up, hair a mess. I may even have a stain or two on my clothes from eatin’ and cookin’.

The Celeb and her daughter, however, were a totally different vision. Like OMG! They wore sun dresses, make-up, even lipstick. Picture perfect.

I shan’t identify the celeb, however, my friend Linda thought she did not look like anything in her photos or tv appearances. I actually thought she looked great. Really. And she is O-L-D. Let me clarify, she is in her 60’s, while I am clinging onto my 50’s for dear life.

She publicly professes her aging is natural, and never had cosmetic surgery. Sistah, if that be true, then I’ll have what you be drinkin’.

I have the best dermatologists on both coasts. I even have a wellness doctor who loads me up on a daily ritual of concoctions of vitamins, minerals, collagen powder, and hormones in an attempt to beat back aging.

Despite my valiant efforts, and I am younger than that sistah Celeb, she is really a hot mama. Kudos to her.

Catch Ya’ on Return Trip!

As luck would have it for me, I got to see this hot mama goddess again on the return walk home.

And this time, she stopped, asked whether my older son was home now. Why, I have no idea.

Go figure.

Can we be friends now?

To be continued…

THE HAMPTONS EMPTY NESTERS: THEY’RE BAAACK!

THE HAMPTONS SUMMER OF 2021 PART X

Furious Mom!

They Always Come Back Home

Y’all may recall, a few weeks ago I wrote the article The Hamptons Empty Nesters.

My girlfriends, don’t ya know it that as soon as I dumped (oops! ‘dropped off’),the last kid at the Hampton Jitney bus stop, I partied like it was 1999! You betcha baby!

Did I hear a Pin Drop?

Our home was quiet. I heard the chorus of birds chirping the song ‘hallelujah empty house’, and the soothing sounds of the ocean waves breaking at the shore.

I achieved Nirvana.

Girlfriends, I celebrated with a Baccarat Crystal cocktail glass filled with perfectly chilled Tito’s vodka. I tossed in an olive for good measure.

Wouldn’t ya know my freedom lasted for a nano-second. I took one sip of my celebratory cocktail, and the party was over. I prophesized this would happen!!! Shiat!

Cock-a-roaches

As soon as son #1 arrived at his apartment, we got a phone call. There was an invasion of cockroaches.

Query: When would the apartment building ever conclude the year long construction project? Keep in mind, this is the never ending project that literally never ends. And paleeze…don’t give me that line of shiat, “Oh, so sorry, but COVID delayed the project excuse”.

I do not know what the construction workers did, but they must have awoken every roach that lived on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Really.

And then, the cock-a-roaches piled into their roach mobile and decided to take a road trip to my son’s apartment. All jokin’ aside, I am confident the entire building was invaded by roaches…

NO!!! DO NOT COME HOME!

Oy vey. Really? Bug, schmug. Whateva! Don’t Come Home!

I would do anything to retain my newly minted title ‘Empty Nester’.

Gay to the Rescue

I schlepped to NYC to investigate. I entered the apartment in body armor; well, not quite. I brought boric acid, a tried and true remedy to snuff out those pesky critters.

As the big Macha, (in Yiddish that means the ‘Head Honcho’), I surveyed the situation. We be talkin’ determined cock-a-roaches. They must have been a trainin’ for this invasion. Straight outta’ a horror flick.

It was a war zone in that apartment. I found carcasses of cockroaches; it was clear they were putting up a hell of a battle but were losing the war.

I stayed for the night. I woke up early, to make the trek back to the Hamptons.

Let’s set the scene: Good news, the coast was clear! Not a roach in sight!

I hopped into the shower. Thinking the roach problem was under control, I was totally relaxed.

I go for the shampoo… and just as I picked up that bottle…the world ended. Visualize this: A sly and cunning cock-a-roach was hiding behind the shampoo, just waiting to terrorize me.

Kudos to that crafty bastard, what a great war time tactic.

It was at that moment I entered the twilight zone and had an out of body experience. That mutha fucka stared at me with those eyes. And this was not cock-a-roach, this was a water bug, which can be huge. We be talking almost 6 inches long or bigger? Could have been a foot long. But who knows, I was traumatized.

I was shrieking like a lunatic in a straight jacket who was locked away in an insane asylum.

It’s amazing I did not pull the shower door off the hinges while fleeing. I attribute my super-human core strength to Tracy Anderson.

I know what you are thinking…what happened to the bug?

You betcha baby! No match for Gay! I snuffed that bug out with the bottle of shampoo, and then ran out of the shower. Sistahs, I can assure you there was no need for the police.

My message to the all the bugs that entered the apartment: this will be your fate. And then I flushed that mutha dead roach down the toilet and gave the middle finger farewell salute.

Totally grossed out, my son and I retreated to the Hamptons.

Cockroaches and Family

You betcha… family, friends, they be just like those cockroaches.

I know. I am such a biatch! Perhaps ‘bunnies’ be a softer word? Cockroaches sounds too nasty.

You know it my fellow mamas! One person comes to the house and then they start to multiply.

Exactly. Now I have a marching band!

The Snow Hotel is Accepting No Mo’ Reservations!

My step-kids and grandkids planned to visit for a few ‘fun days in the Hamptons’, along with my sistah Lori, my 15 year-old niece, and two of her girlfriends.

What’s a mama to do? I went food shopping and cancelled all scheduled dinner reservations.

Oh yes… I also pumped up the rainbow unicorn and pink swan floats, set up the ping-pong table, badminton, fluffed up the pillows, and put the Advil on the kitchen counter.

But wait, my old mama and step-dad Bob had to visit too. Of course, they did. Do ya think my mama would miss out on the ‘fun’ we were having in the Hamptons?

Not only did she want to come for dinner, but she also wanted to sleepover and gab with the teenagers. I said, “mama, there are too many people here, so you can’t sleep over”.

My mama replied: “Gay, I am not anyone, I am yo’ mama”. I curtly replied, “Whatever biatch! You can only come for the day”. Well, with all due respect to my mama, I certainly did not call her a biatch to her face. Definitely behind her back. Just kiddin’ girlfriends.

And yes, sistah Lori thanked me that mama did not sleepover. We just would not go down that path of mama gossipin’ up a storm with the teenagers.

What About Bob?

Bob was incredulously thoughtful. He brought a ‘toy’ for the girls. So sweet. Oh yes, a jewelry design kit for girls ages 6+. Sistahs, I kid you not. He thought it was a wonderful way for the girls to play, make earrings and hair pins. Can you imagine? Sexist pig!

My Foreseeable Future

My fellow mamas… I must accept my fate. When your home is akin to a 5-star hotel, and everyone’s needs are addressed, who I be kiddin’?

In fact, when we get back to LA, we will be living with son #2 and adopted son #3. You know it honey! They gave me the line, “We will be home just for a few months.. we just be college grads lookin’ for an apartment”.

Bless yo’ heart. Mama ain’t no fool! I know, I will bring the jewelry design kit to LA so the boys can make necklaces when they are not looking for an apartment.

They will never leave…To be continued.

WORK IT! MY FRIEND… SISTAH TRACY!

THE HAMPTONS SUMMER OF 2021: PART VIII!

courtesy: Tracy Anderson

…Continued from Yesterday.

Y’all may recall yesterday’s article concluded with a cliffhanger. I was going to call my friend Tracy, AKA ‘The GODdess’, to politely beg her to find a spot for me in her class this weekend.

BIG SCORE!

Of course, I scored a spot in her Saturday class! Now what do I do?

Praise the GODdess for pityin’ this poor, agin’ fool! Hallelujah sistahs! Tracy will save me from Mama Nature and Daddy Time!

That Photo!

To be clear, that is not a photo of me. That stunning photograph is of my friend, Tracy Anderson. Tracy posted this goddess-like photograph of herself on her Instagram page a few weeks ago.

What? You actually thought that is moi??? My word! Bless your heart… y’all be too kind! Come on now, I am way taller than Tracy.

But Paleeze, don’t make me laugh…because this will set off an uncontrollable chain reaction of bodily functions (I’ll pee in my pants, blah blah blah)! You know the drill sistahs. Never leave home without a Poise Pad!

The truth is, I gasped when I saw that pic.

Oy! My girlfriends… I ask y’all…how is it humanly possible for a sistah to look like that? On my best day, I never looked like that. So sad, shed a tear for Gay.

I called her, and said “Tracy, like OMG! I need this photo! I want to make it into a poster and put it on my wall”. NOT! Just kidding!

But really, like Oh my GODdess! Tracy earned that rockin’ hot mama bod. She is the real deal.

I Want A Six-Pack This Summer!

You betcha baby! Gay’s goin’ for gold this summer! I want a six-pack and a tight arse! And I don’t mean no Budweiser (which I never drank, by the by).

What? Did you just say?? Do ya think I am too old to have a hot rockin’ mama body?

How dare you biatch! Shame, shame, shame on you!

In Gay’s World, we can do ANYTHING! I think I can, I know I can!

I have a plan. Get outta my way biatches!

The Class

The chicks who fly in from Miami, LA, and NYC to attend her classes, are total devotees of her workout. They all have incredible bods. It is one thing when I body shame myself in writing. It’s another thing when I am actually in Tracy’s studio standin’ alongside the other hot mamas. And trust me, they be smokin’ hot.

Post-Pandemic Workout!

OMG! I just realized I will work out in a room full of people. To be real, I have not worked out with other people in almost two years.

Like what was I thinking? I am going to be in a studio with other hot mamas who are a huffin’ and a puffin’ and a sweatin’! Eeeeew! Eeeeck! Totally COVID gross! Oh wait! Post-COVID baby! Vaccinated People only!

I shan’t shame myself in public! I will probably be the oldest hot mama in the studio!

I simply cannot ‘show up’ unprepared and not in shape!

Believe me my sistahs when I say that it can be quite the challenge to keep up with the GODdess and her followers in an advanced class.

You betcha baby that tight arse is earned! It is not a ‘gimme’ to have a hot bod after age 30. Don’t we all know about that cruel reality that sistah!

Last but not least, what shall I wear? Word! I have to play the role of the smokin’ hot mama! Not only will have to wear color-coordinated workout clothes, but they best be tight as hell to hold in my bloated stomach! Appearance is everything baby!

Practice! Practice! Practice!

Like really? I have three days to prepare for my first live in-person class. Today was day one of Tracy’s online studio program, where I took the hardest, most challenging advanced class. Of course, I did.

What was I thinkin’ girlfriends? All I can say, is oy vey.

Word! Do I have a lot of work to do before Saturday! I will be training in my DOJO alone, where, moaning, groaning and accidental fart slippage is permissible. At my age, what can you do?

Let’s see if I will be ready for the live in-person Saturday class. I pray the other sistahs will ‘look away’!

To be continued…