Living in a lockdown teaches you new tricks to surviving life during a pandemic. As if we needed more things to do during the day. I learned a lot this year. Did you?
1. I learned how to wash my hands, really well. I pretend I am a brain surgeon prepping for surgery. Apply water first, add soap, then scrub hands while singing three verses of happy birthday for 18 seconds. How did I survive my first 56 years?
2. I learned to love Purell. Prior to COVID-19, I hated Purell. When my son was 8 years old, he threw up all over me on a cross-country flight. One of the perks of being a mom. I had to clean up the vomit with Purell, not to mention my pants, hands and arms. I wreaked of Purell and vowed never again to use the damn product.
3. I love Purell in my car; I love Purell in my purse. I use it in accordance with CDC (Center for Disease Control) guidelines.
4. I do not drink Purell.
5. I love to wear a mask, because I do not have to wear make-up, or get Botox and fillers on the bottom half of my face. I now save thousands of dollars, although look like shit.
6. I learned how to color my hair because my hair salon was closed for three months during the first stay at home order (lockdown).
7. I am in my second lockdown, and now my colorist comes to me. #BEVERLYHILLS.
8. I learned how to bake bread and call it Daily Corona Bread.
9. I am not a hairstylist, although I was cutting men’s hair throughout the first lockdown and accumulated 9 clients. #NOTIPS #WORKFORFREE.
10. I became the house Chef and prepared breakfast, lunch and dinner for 7 months #NOTIPS #WORKFORFREE.
11. I became the housekeeper and learned how to clean the showers with a mop. How else do you clean floor to ceiling tiles? #GENIUS.
12. I learned what social distancing meant. I thought it meant avoiding people you cannot stand.
13. I learned how much I appreciate my family, even though I served them 3 meals a day, cleaned their bathrooms, and did their laundry for 7 months.
14. I am in my second lockdown with my family, and still appreciate them. #LOVE.
15. I learned to live a new social life through NETFLIX, HBO MAX, SHOWTIME, HULU, and Prime. My new BFF is Nicole Kidman. She does not know this.
16. I learned what a bubble is. No, not a bubble bath; a COVID bubble.
17. At the beginning of the first lockdown, my bubble ate meals outside in the cold, the rain, and wind. #DESPERATEFRIENDS.
18. I have enough Charmin toilet paper and Bounty paper towels to last 3 months. #HOARDER.
My new year’s wish for 2021 is not to burst my bubble of friends and family. However, I do have a few needs to be fulfilled. I want to go to a hair salon and get my hair colored and cut; I want to get Botox and fillers for my entire face (I need it); and I want to dine inside a restaurant wearing nice clothes. Oh, and I would prefer to wear workout clothes to only work out, not all day.
My biggest want is get the COVID-19 vaccine for my family and I, so we can live a new normal life and I can stop being the chef, the housekeeper, the hairstylist, the colorist, etc..
Happy New Year!