Dropped Uterus!

A Woman and her Cats

Dear Dr. Frankenstein,

I just learned a new fun fact about aging. Did you know that a woman’s uterus can drop? Like fall out of your body?

OMG, I almost peed in my pants when I heard this. Oh paleeze, don’t sound so surprised. As women age, at some point, everyone pees in the pants. Why? Because their bladder drops. Everything drops, tits, tushies. Name that body part and it drops. Not like manna from the heavens, just a mama ungracefully aging.

And by the by, men also don’t get a free piss, I mean pass from aging. They also pee in their pants as they age too.

But really, this is serious stuff. I found out about this dropped uterus ‘thang’ on the condition of anonymity. I swore to the person who told me, I would not tell a soul. Not anyone.

So, in the spirit of being moi, I shall write about this story and publish it in my blog.

However, to honor that li’l ole anonymity request, I would never, ever divulge the name of the person who told me this very personal story. I shan’t leave clues about their age, color of their hair, height, weight, or address. Because if I did, you can be sure that person would be really, really mad at me.

Trust me. I know that person all too well.

Uterine Prolapse

So…how do you know your uterus is dropping or has dropped?

The person who told me about their uterus, said they felt something literally ‘coming out’ of their special private parts. You know, the part that men don’t have.

Now here is the scary part…this is really not for the skeamish. According to my anonymous source, a self-examination felt, yes this person literally felt ‘down there,’ a penis growing. Really.

Well, now wait a gosh darn minute. Perception is 9/10’s of the law… this person perceived whatever was comin’ out down there, was a penis.

Back in the day, this anonymous person, in her younger years,  sashayed around town with a really  big set of balls. So the natural progression would be to grow a penis someday, am I not right?

What can you do? When the person went to the doctor, the first question posed was: ‘is it possible I am growing a penis?’ The Dr. ‘chuckled,’ and replied, ‘no, that is just your uterus.’ Well, girlfriends, what a relief, right? Nah.

And go figure… my sistahood knows all about this ‘dropped uterus’ thang.

Sistahs and Brothas, a dropped uterus is in fact a medical condition called Uterine Prolapse (not penis growth). According to the Mayo Clinic, “Uterine prolapse occurs when pelvic floor muscles and ligaments stretch and weaken and no longer provide enough support for the uterus. As a result, the uterus slips down into or protrudes out of the vagina. Uterine prolapse can occur in women of any age. But it often affects postmenopausal women who’ve had one or more vaginal deliveries.”

Oh, and if anyone has given birth to a ‘large baby,’ blame it on that damn kid…could just have caused uterus to drop.

Kids are the gift that keep giving.

Sistahs, this is just one more thing to look forward to.

Dropped Uterus!

Dear Dr. Frankenstein,

I just learned a new fun fact about aging. Did you know that a woman’s uterus can drop? Like fall out of your body?

OMG, I almost peed in my pants when I heard this. Oh paleeze, don’t sound so surprised. As women age, at some point, everyone pees in the pants. Why? Because their bladder drops. Everything drops, tits, tushies. Name that body part and it drops. Not like manna from the heavens, just a mama ungracefully aging.

And by the by, men also don’t get a free piss, I mean pass from aging. They also pee in their pants as they age too.

But really, this is serious stuff. I found out about this dropped uterus ‘thang’ on the condition of anonymity. I swore to the person who told me, I would not tell a soul. Not anyone.

So, in the spirit of being moi, I shall write about this story and publish it in my blog.

However, to honor that li’l ole anonymity request, I would never, ever divulge the name of the person who told me this very personal story. I shan’t leave clues about their age, color of their hair, height, weight, or address. Because if I did, you can be sure that person would be really, really mad at me.

Trust me. I know that person all too well.

Uterine Prolapse

So…how do you know your uterus is dropping or has dropped?

The person who told me about their uterus, said they felt something literally ‘coming out’ of their special private parts. You know, the part that men don’t have.

Now here is the scary part…this is really not for the skeamish. According to my anonymous source, a self-examination felt, yes this person literally felt ‘down there,’ a penis growing. Really.

Well, now wait a gosh darn minute. Perception is 9/10’s of the law… this person perceived whatever was comin’ out down there, was a penis.

Back in the day, this anonymous person, in her younger years,  sashayed around town with a really  big set of balls. So the natural progression would be to grow a penis someday, am I not right?

What can you do? When the person went to the doctor, the first question posed was: ‘is it possible I am growing a penis?’ The Dr. ‘chuckled,’ and replied, ‘no, that is just your uterus.’ Well, girlfriends, what a relief, right? Nah.

And go figure… my sistahood knows all about this ‘dropped uterus’ thang.

Sistahs and Brothas, a dropped uterus is in fact a medical condition called Uterine Prolapse (not penis growth). According to the Mayo Clinic, “Uterine prolapse occurs when pelvic floor muscles and ligaments stretch and weaken and no longer provide enough support for the uterus. As a result, the uterus slips down into or protrudes out of the vagina. Uterine prolapse can occur in women of any age. But it often affects postmenopausal women who’ve had one or more vaginal deliveries.”

Oh, and if anyone has given birth to a ‘large baby,’ blame it on that damn kid…could just have caused uterus to drop.

Kids are the gift that keep giving.

Sistahs, this is just one more thing to look forward to.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s