THE HAMPTONS: RING OF FIRE ECLIPSE!

THE HAMPTONS SUMMER OF 2021: PART VI!

Ring of Fire

Hallelujah! I saw the eclipse! I did I did I did!!

Now I can’t see! Oy! My eyes! They be on fire!

A View From the Roof

The best view for this once of a lifetime moment would be on the roof! Where else, like duh!

Just imagine what it would be like to be so daring, so rugged, so adventurous at 5:00 o’clock in the morning in the Hamptons!

But wait? Would the weather permit a viewing of the eclipse?

The Hunky Meteorologist

Why should I look out the window when I can tune into CBS2 NY News to listen to my meteorologist GOD, Lonnie Quinn and see what he says.

Like really. Lonnie knows his stuff.

If I may, Lonnie, is a real, live, Ken Barbie Doll. The perfect blonde hair, chiseled chin, piercing blue eyes, the sculpted physique and those pecs! Need I say more? Really? A huge amen to my girlfriends out there!

Absolutely stunning. It is even fair to say he is breathtaking. I think he was an actor in a soap opera.

Lonnie never misses a weather event. And why should he? What would a weather event be without that face?

Shiat! What else is new? I am deviating from writing about the eclipse! What is amazing, is that Lonnie lives in Westport Connecticut. So close, yet so far… just yonder across the Long Island Sound. Oh my… the thought just gives me goosebumps!

Lonnie and I apparently had the same view of the eclipse. Same cloud cover, same sunrise. How romantic. Shhhh! Don’t tell anyone!

The Climb

I made the ascent to my roof. Yes, this is akin to climbing Mt. Everest. I was prepared for the climb. I was armed and dangerous with a cup of cawfee in my Duke University Parent thermal mug; I had my laptop, so I can write about the viewing in real-time; my phone to take photos; and the NY Times Crossword Puzzle to pass the time while I wait for the show.

This was such an ‘event’, that my husband also climbed up to the roof.

If you know my husband, that in and of itself, is an event. Too bad for him, he did not bring cawfee.

We were perched on the roof at 5:24 am, the exact time the eclipse was to begin. Again, if you know my husband, he (not “we”) is punctual!

My husband doubted whether we could see the eclipse; he thought the cloud cover blocked our view.

Patience….patience! If you know my husband, he is just so impatient!

Then it happened! He saw the eclipse! So exciting! If you know my husband, that was it. He came. He saw. He conquered. Fuhgeddaboudit! My husband left.

Of course, I stayed to continue to enjoy this once in a lifetime event.

Don’t Look Into The Sun!

I am such a total arsehole! Of course, I looked straight into the eclipse. Not once. Not twice. But countless times. Eclipse glasses? What you talkin’ ‘bout?

I have very fancy schmancy sunglasses: Ray-Ban, Dior, Prada… I don’t have eclipse glasses. I do not think they would suit my Hamptons and Beverly Hills fashion. Remember… appearance is everythin’ sistah!

Again, whateva! I am armed with my morning cup of cawfee! And by the by, I am on my fourth cup now!

The Most Beautiful Sunrise

Unbelievable! Amazin’! Like OMG! Breathtaking! I took a bunch of photos to memorialize the event.

Of course, my iPhone only captures blobs of sunlight. Totally did not capture the eclipse. My phone sucks.

Gay’s Ring of Fire 5:40am!

The Neighbor

By now, you know Linda, who is my neighbor. Remember? Linda has ‘Bella’ the puppy. A miniature “Pomsky” — a cross between a Pomeranian and husky. My son calls the baby a cartoon character. Too cute. Bella wants to be a big husky, but unfortunately is trapped in the body of a very small Pomeranian. Ooooh… poor Bella, she will need a therapist to help her overcome her Napoleonic Complex.

Anyway, the puppy wakes Linda up early. Too early for Linda. We are talkin’ 4:00 am sometimes. Oy vey! Good news for Linda today, the puppy slept in almost till 6:00 am.

Linda texts me at that time with the usual “hi”. I assumed, Linda, who is always in the ‘know’, was also watching the eclipse.

No. Linda did not know there was an eclipse. Bless her heart. Interesting. I suppose she does not watch Lonnie Quinn. Sad.

To be continued…

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