OH MY GOD! Beverly Hills restaurants opened for outdoor dining… again!
Down and Out in Beverly Hills No More!
We are no longer living under house arrest and the diamond and ruby studded shackles are gone.
Wait just one minute girlfriend… my jeweler is repurposing them as bracelets!
I am thrilled to be released from my second stay at home order/lockdown/quarantine! Even though millions of people are freed, I feel this is my personal crowning achievement.
At the Ms. COVID America ceremony, I threw out my apron, oven mitts, and COVID recipes. You guessed it! A truly liberating experience! Free at last!
However, I will keep one recipe that is near and dear to my heart. In the post-second lockdown world, I look forward to every Jewish girl’s favorite non-COVID recipe, fondly known as the ‘reservation’.
Governor Gavin Newsom shortened my indefinite punishment of cooking three meals a day, doing the laundry for four people, cleaning toilets and dog walking. Every fuc4!n&* day was groundhog day. Who knows, perhaps he heard my cries for help.
Played by the Rules of my Spiritual Leader Dr. Fauci
If I ventured outside, I wore two (not one) 3-ply masks. In fact, I wear masks so often now, there is no reason to get Botox and fillers on the lower part of my face. My husband and kids only see me, and we know, they don’t give a shit what I look like. At the end of the day, I am as good as my last meal served.
As a devout follower of Fauci, I practiced social distancing 24 hours a day. Hell, at this point, I do not even remember what it is like to socialize with a non-family member. I played by all the COVID rules, and did not deserve to be punished.
In his infinite wisdom, Gavin issued a compassionate early release for all Californians based on compelling circumstances that were clearly not foreseen at the commencement of the second lockdown. He recognized that people were depressed, broke, and COVID weary. Yes, at the stroke of a pen, email, or a phone call, Gavin liberated millions of people this week!
To be sure, if it were up to Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, LA would still be on lockdown and he would continue to hoard COVID vaccines. I would still be chained to the kitchen.
Truthfully, there was no time to prepare a ‘thank you’ speech to express my sincere gratitude to Gavin for his understanding and compassion. I am simply verklempt.
A toast! Raise your vodka martini glasses high and let us hope for happier and healthier days! Cheers to all the Restaurants in the U.S. of A.!
Get Vaccinated and Continue to Wear Your Masks! Peace to All!